tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47659434081719769212024-02-07T19:29:05.368-06:00Square OneI'm just a girl on a journey for balance. :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-28292581373640517692012-07-29T23:49:00.001-05:002012-07-29T23:53:06.676-05:00Laying in bedWhy can't I be present? It's driving me nuts. All I can think about is that I'm leaving in a few days and I'm just not ready to do that. He's laying next to me right now, off in dreamland or something... And my mind is whirring. A million miles a second. This sucks. I can't think of anything else to say. This sucks this sucks this sucks. <br />
<br />
C. <div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcTxd8XO_GJG5sjpjV0yrs9lNQeboQ7yNFHTzZgE-lojN90HSiDSGbwS2gfdtCpLHESXfjXZrZZiVkZIAma5mPEfuR-1ADcNgDu_btf5ZxR5HT4i77X4Bpi2uX6PWXehqmx5YkOLHjehE/s640/blogger-image-367007442.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcTxd8XO_GJG5sjpjV0yrs9lNQeboQ7yNFHTzZgE-lojN90HSiDSGbwS2gfdtCpLHESXfjXZrZZiVkZIAma5mPEfuR-1ADcNgDu_btf5ZxR5HT4i77X4Bpi2uX6PWXehqmx5YkOLHjehE/s640/blogger-image-367007442.jpg" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-7746824726799670542012-07-27T18:08:00.003-05:002012-07-29T23:38:31.914-05:00My time in Ohio is closing...So, I've been in Ohio this entire month to be with my boyfriend. About two days ago it suddenly and overwhelmingly struck me that I'm leaving next week to go back to my life. I miss my furry boys and I miss my friends and parents... But I cried myself to sleep last night. I started before he was asleep and did my best to sound ok and suck it up until he started breathing deeply. And then I cried until I was asleep. I knew that coming here for a long time was going to mean that leaving would rip a hole through me, but I thought I'd be anxious for autonomy again. I'm not. This guy gets under my clothes, under my skin and into my veins. I absolutely adore him. Is it strange to say I look up to him in many ways? Truth. <br />
<br />
I've managed to lose almost 4 pounds this month, maintaining my online Weight Watchers lifestyle... This is something I haven't reflected on or given myself credit for--staying the course, although moving a bit slower than at home with my own kitchen and routine, has actually been possible. I should be proud of this. I am proud of this. And my baby has been so wonderful about my food stuff; so mindful without alienating me; so loving and encouraging. <br />
<br />
Writing about leaving is hurting my heart. I think I'll sign off for now. <br />
<br />
C.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-53592379284865281522012-07-16T17:45:00.000-05:002012-07-16T17:45:45.740-05:00I can't believe my last post was a year ago. Reading it made my heart ache for a moment, because I see that I just let myself "go through the motions" without checking in with me from time to time... So easily. And here I am, writing a year later--almost. I'm in a much better place now than I was last year at this time, so in this way the time passed seems to serve as a looking glass. I'm healthier, in love again and on a month-long staycation in Ohio at my boyfriend's place. If someone had told me I'd be in this place, I may have given myself more grace last summer. <br />
<br />
I'm thinking that I want to move forward with this blog differently than how I first began it. I began this blog as simply a weight-loss and fitness blog (and we can see how successfully that went...). The thing is, I just want to heal and grow my spirit. So, that means sometimes my energy needs to go to my weight-loss, sometimes to my thoughts, my musings, my relationship, family, work, school, career path..! I am more than one-dimentional and I recognize that focusing too much on one area of my life has grown to be quite the downfall of mine. <br />
<br />
I am 26 years old, three months from 27. <br />
I am 178 lbs and I'm working toward a healthy 145.<br />
I am a mother to three beautiful furry boys: Jay, Cuse, and Stevie. <br />
I am an older sister, <br />
an oldest daughter, <br />
a college student, <br />
a best friend,<br />
a bartender,<br />
an ex-fiance,<br />
a new girlfriend,<br />
a veteran, <br />
a Libra,<br />
a Moderate/Conservative-Liberal,<br />
a Minnesotan--<br />
I'm just a girl on a journey for blanace. <br />
<br />
C.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-2110705231669166492011-08-23T12:11:00.002-05:002011-08-23T12:19:43.739-05:00Sad.It's interesting--almost every time I've posted on here in the past year has been to say "wow, I haven't posted on here in a while." <div>
<br /></div><div>I feel like I've been going through a Season of Change for the past 15 months. Steve left me more than a year ago, we got back together last winter... he emotionally bailed again on this past Spring... I've just been on a roller coaster and I've been forced to learn how to stand up for what I deserve and desire. It's really been something. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Anyway, I'm at this crossroads again--looking at that woman in the mirror and not seeing her for what I feel like inside. I want to match. I want my insides and outsides to match, if that makes sense. I simply haven't taken care of me physically with as much zeal as I've had for my heart. Somewhere along the way, between bracing for whatever it was coming to me that I was sensing with Steve, him leaving, coming back, leaving, coming back... I just didn't have the energy or the heart to take care of my body. I miss being proud of my legs and tummy... I deserve to be again. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>The past couple months, I've been picking myself back up again and steadying myself... I think I'm ready to hit the trails again. I've hired a personal trainer. I'm ready. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>Ciao. </div><div>C</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-50972173959155804942011-04-10T18:01:00.001-05:002011-04-10T18:03:02.448-05:00Clean eating...It's amazing how connected we are to food... Check out this site, she's quite a lady promoting a personal reason she's chosen to Eat Clean!<div><br /></div><div><a href="http://cleancuisineandmore.com/">http://cleancuisineandmore.com</a></div><div><br /></div><div>Ciao!</div><div>C.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-61581421108087344622011-03-31T16:18:00.003-05:002011-03-31T16:24:32.046-05:00Sigh.I'm not sure why I have a hard time keeping up with this blog. Probably because my organizational weakness + my tendency not to take care of me = neglecting this sight. <div><br /></div><div>I haven't yet taken measurements, and it's because I'm currently experiencing overwhelming changes in thought about "dieting." I don't want to feed my anorexia monster by allowing her the opportunity to obsess. So, I'm holding off on the measurements for the time being--because I obsess over numbers (like weight). I've committed to Steven not to step on the scale any more that once a week, and the verbal commitment has helped thwart off obsessive behaviors of mine. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm currently (slowly) reading Intuitive Eating, and proceeding with caution. This book debunks every approach to being healthy I've ever taken and it's testing my commander compulsions... which I think might be good for me.</div><div><br /></div><div>One choice I made recently was to create a forum (on FB), where I can channel my "love of food" and journey toward health. The page is called Heart Food--which means food healthy for my heart, physically and emotionally. I've finally acknowledged that my relationship with food has been unhealthy for way too long, and this re-channeling of enery, and helping others while I help myself, will be therapeutic for me. :)</div><div><br /></div><div>Ciao.</div><div>C.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-87545712344573577952010-12-06T23:39:00.002-06:002010-12-06T23:51:11.414-06:00Refreshed<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Dear me,</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I had the most incredible weekend. I don't even know what to say about it, but this whole Pathways thing has revived me. Yesterday and the day before, I went to Pathways' optional, separate-from-the-core-training spiritual weekend, Step Beyond... So I've now graduated from the program, I'm sponsoring and watching Steven discover the man I always wished for him to embrace... and now, after this weekend, I feel like I am finally comfortable with where I'm at spiritually. Comfortable enough to move forward without confinement. I prayed with someone, for the first time that I can remember feeling it with so much of myself, I </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">prayed.</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> This means so much to me, because I've never felt the freedom to do that, the way I did this weekend. My life has just been such a whirlwind these past handful of months, and I feel like everything in it was building and setting me up for the exact moments I've been having since I saved myself through this program. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></div><div><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">"I am a lovable, free, clean woman who trusts God with every little bit."</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> ~my contract and covenant. </span></span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I... I think I'm ready to rely on God for the struggles I have had with my eating and health. I've accomplished ordering and receiving a new scale. I will weigh myself in the morning, measure myself and record, and begin my 10 days of 7am-8pm only eating. I have yet to do an OA meeting... I committed to a sleepover with Amanda on Wednesday, which is the day I want to attend an OA meeting, so I will either pick a different day, or begin that next week. I want to start building this habit, but I need to acknowledge I can't do this alone. Tomorrow, I intend to journal a prayer to God about needing him for the strength tomorrow. Little bits; I have to start trusting Him with my little bits. </span></span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">Love.</span> </span></b></div><div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">C.</span></b></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-45480113017007665262010-11-14T20:01:00.003-06:002010-11-14T23:13:03.564-06:00Sunday nightHello. Not sure what to write right now. I haven't bought a scale yet. I was trying to find $25 of stuff on Amazon.com so I can get free shipping, but I was at a road block in my mind. <em>But,</em> now I have a few small Christmas ideas for people I love, so I'll go on there again. You know what? I'll stop writing right now, and order it...<br /><br />And ORDERED!!<br /><br />So, I've begun posting pictures of fit women inside my cupboards, but they aren't all covered. And, I just ordered my scale. I'm getting there. I ate past 8pm tonight... I'm really letting tapes in my mind overpower my judgment. I even looked at the clock before making food and thought "oh well, I'll do it tomorrow." Maybe I should frame a sign that reads "do it today..." Ok, that's on my list. I need to do that and hang it in my kitchen.<br /><br />C.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-15084672938630696382010-11-12T13:55:00.005-06:002010-12-08T09:57:23.875-06:00Starting anew<span style="font-family:georgia;">Dear Self,</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">It's been so long. I know I've said this before, but there was so much going on in my life, emotionally, I just fell apart. I've been healing myself from the inside, finally, and I'm not sure... but I'd like to start again. So, hello, Blog. It's been awhile and I've missed you. More importantly, I've missed my health. I've been working so hard, for months now, on getting to know my heart and I feel more alive than I've ever been. But, one of the things that saddens me to my core is the lack of care I've spent on my health and my body. I am an outward reflection of how I care for myself... and now, for the first time, I feel like my body and my heart don't match. I don't look like I feel lovable or beautiful... I look like I gave in and gave up on me. But I don't want to look like that anymore, because I finally care about Candi. I'm struggling, yes. This is a habit I've built over decades... But I have a willing spirit; I just need to keep my willing spirit in the driver's seat now, not my inner dumbass. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I'm starting by buying a new scale. The one I've had for a few years has finally died. Well, it spits out weights like "152." Hell, if I was 152 again, this post would sound MUCH more joyful. I don't think I want a digital one... seems like their lives are awfully short. I'm looking on Amazon.com right now. Hmmm... Another thing I'd like is a weight rack. I have all these weights, but they're just in a pile on the floor. Hmm... Ok, here's the plan, I will reward myself with a small gift (yoga/running pants or weight rack for my dumbbells) whenI have completed this [entire] short list of tasks:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">1. Purchase new scale. <em>Report purchase on this blog.</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">2. Measure dimensions and <em>record on here.</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">3. Once I receive the new scale, <em>record "new" starting weight.</em> </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">4. Attend an OA meeting. <em>Report attendence on here.</em> </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">5. For each evening I eat only between the hours of 7am-8:30pm, I earn a "bean" in my "health jar." Goal: 10 days/beans; <em>report on this blog.</em> Once reached, begin new goal. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">6. Hang pictures of in-shape women on the insides of my cabinets. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I think this is a good starter list. I get a reward once I finish it, so that's good. Really good. Better than sheer willpower alone. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Love.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">C.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-47789390578180620392010-07-20T17:55:00.002-05:002010-07-20T18:04:21.485-05:00FullHere I am! I meant to write sooner than now. I've been eating (almost exclusively) Simply Fit Meals for a few weeks now. I'm noticing differences that are encouraging. First of all, I weigh 172.8. What did I start at? That's 12 lbs since I began this blog. That's about 14.5 lbs since a few weeks before I started this. So that's good; and it's been a good and healthy pace too - which is super important to me. Little things I'm noticing are things like: my pants aren't as snug, my rings slide more easily off my fingers (instead of being stuck in place like they used to be), and a couple people have commented on my changing size.<br /><br />Today was the first time I felt like I really struggled with my Simply Fit Meals. I just didn't have an appetite this morning; I didn't finish all of my breakfast, but I decided to have my glass of milk too. I ate my whole lunch (love the pita sandwich). Then, when I got home (a bit early today: 430pm), I have some hummus and veggies for a snack. Then I decided I still wanted food, so I ate the chicken kabob and quinoa meal. WTF! Way too much food at one sitting. The good thing is that I didn't eat more than I am supposed to each day... but I did have another glass of skim milk. So I'm probably about 130 calories over. I'll even it out tomorrow...<br /><br />Well, I'm going to sign off now. I have lots to do before tomorrow.<br /><br />Xo!<br />CandiAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-61107623453082808682010-07-08T22:13:00.002-05:002010-07-08T23:07:52.743-05:00I'm back...<span style="font-family: georgia;">So... it's been a while since I've been on here. Over a month. I realize I went from 100% to 0% in a matter of days, but I intend to start anew. I don't want to make excuses, but I was going through one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences I have ever been through. Those who know me know what happened. Because I'm working through it, and other buried experiences I've been through, with my friends, through counseling, through Pathways (soon!)... I will not be discussing the reason I signed off for a while. It's too personal.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Anyway, many things in my life have changed (clearly) - but I'm referring to fitness. Along with my period of withdrawal from this blog, I stopped eating, stopped working out, stopped sleeping. I lost 13 pounds; I was down to 172 at some point. I was dizzy, had headaches, cried a lot, smoked cigarettes a lot, and then... to make it all worse: I fell at an Army function down a couple cement stairs, jammed my right big toe so hard it snapped, and tore a couple ligaments pretty bad in my left ankle. I've been healing for almost 3 weeks; still limping, but it's getting there. So - I haven't done Cross Fit; first, out of an emotional response to a painful shift in my life, and second, due to my injury. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Now, some positive things! I recently began a nutrition program with Simply Fit Meals. It's a new business here in Austin, and it's AWESOME. Now, I don't need to plan, cook, count calories, measure portions... Why? They do it for me. They deliver my meals twice a week, proportioned, all organic, cooked, fresh, never frozen. It is truly so tasty, I can't even describe it. I've only been on the plan for a couple days, but I've already noticed changes. I feel... happier. I don't know if it's the food, or the support from my friends and chain of command - but I feel happier. And, my digestion has been better. Won't go into detail... but I physically feel better! I am still struggling with falling/staying asleep, but perhaps this food will help that. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Also, I had a session with Laura, a nutritionist from Simply Fit. She talked about my habits, my goals, my motivations, etc. We figured out how much I should be eating with an immobile lifestyle (right now): 1300-1400 calories per day. Yes, I'm going to start incorporating some exercises, but at least I know what I'm allowed on my most lazy day. And, she said she's going to stick with me through my health journey. This is too awesome, and so encouraging. I finally admitted to myself that I need accountability. Now, between this blog, my Murr's, CPT Conner, and Laura - I'll have just that. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Ok, Blog... we're caught up, for the most part. I'm leaving for Pathways tomorrow, and the plan is take my meals with me in my little lunch box coolers. I'm going with Amanda and Johnson - so I'll have that support system to give me enough confidence to tell other people "yeah, I brought my own organic, healthy food." Eventually, I'll get used to mentioning it. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Oh, I thought of one more thing: I have made the decision to fast from cheese and cheese-flavored foods. Now, I understand the connotation that is often drawn from the word "fast." That's ok. I used to have an aversion to the word, and honestly, I still have a physical reaction to the word. Regardless, I'm fasting from my single FAVORITE food and flavor in the world. Yes, this is religiously motivated. I have done some soul-searching and discovered that a sin I struggle very much with is gluttony. I have suffered physically and emotionally from the consequences. I realize gluttony's only means is not only through eating, but it is largely for me. On June 1st I began this fast, with the ultimate goal of experiencing discipline and learning to recognize and combat a struggle I have in my life. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Whew. Now we're all caught up. Blog, I'll talk with you this weekend, if I'm able to while I'm at Pathways. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Good night! </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-43641947600234866852010-05-16T10:27:00.003-05:002010-05-16T10:31:54.949-05:00...<span style="font-family: georgia;">I have been away from this blog for a few days now. I'm going through an incredibly difficult time in my life. I meant to post my successful WOD from Thursday, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. Friday, I was prepared for M day (major cardio; M does not stand for major, though), but I ended up needing to leave the office to take some personal time. I have been struggling too much to go to the gym or really eat anything at all; too nauseated. In the back of my mind, I'm afraid to lose any progress I've made, but I won't be strong enough to do a workout without anything in my system. Anyway, Blog, I'll come back soon. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">C.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-51162144682570540382010-05-12T23:19:00.006-05:002010-05-13T00:07:44.399-05:00Wednesday...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdfwNqj86IJVtVoiSViMD-aqo6ImQ_if6_xvZYGjGDr9_mEL6sYuLc2Yuf2Xou6NesmNKWTBoWxIbpd8cDmzF0D1ts3nJl_wIrXuTKyz9rGPX5BvRiLtN0aLk7lZApRSKULb9v1ayn4oY/s1600/Jamie+Eason2.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 295px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdfwNqj86IJVtVoiSViMD-aqo6ImQ_if6_xvZYGjGDr9_mEL6sYuLc2Yuf2Xou6NesmNKWTBoWxIbpd8cDmzF0D1ts3nJl_wIrXuTKyz9rGPX5BvRiLtN0aLk7lZApRSKULb9v1ayn4oY/s320/Jamie+Eason2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470616911901599842" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">So, I took the day off from working out today (so sore); but you know what? I'm not UNBEARABLY sore, which surprises me. Don't get me wrong, I'm stiff, but not wobbly, which I appreciate. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">1/2c cottage cheese. I should've eaten something else too, but I ran out of time. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">carrots.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Lunch: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Salad w/cherry tomatoes, feta cheese, lite Caesar yogurt dressing; sandwhich - multi grain bread, deli chicken, tomato slices</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">1/2c cottage cheese. Mmmmmm.... I love it.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Dinner: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">home-made enchiladas! 3 corn tortillas, cubed steak w/canned chiles, fat free sour cream, salsa verde, chopped tomatoes, chopped onions; skim milk.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Pre-bed snack:</span><span style="font-family:georgia;"> Cpt. C suggested I have one serving of Muscle Milk Lite before bed, so I just prepared it, and I'll be drinking it before I lay down. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >H20 intake: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">42oz. Ugh. Bad bad. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I'm pretty excited for tomorrow; my battle buddy comes back to work after an issue that happened a month ago with his orders. It'll be nice to have him back. Yay Murr! Hope he remembers his PTs, because I'm making him do a WOD with us. Mwuahahahaha! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">So yesterday we were all emailing about what kind of bodies, abs, etc. we wish to have one day. For a while now, I've admire Jamie Eason's body (though, I'm a little disappointed to see some of the type of pictures she's done...). When I was deployed, I remember Bifulk telling me "Berge. You could totally look like her if you wanted. Look how athletic, broad shouldered, and short she is? And she's got an amazing body. You could do that." Well, it sticks out in my head. Cpt. C made a good point though, when I sent him a picture of her to show him what I wish for one day. He said she's probably that cut because all she eats is, like, "Coller 1" (for you Tosca Reno followers, you'll know what that is). Which really isn't healthy and she probably doesn't always look so cut; that's her "fitness competition" body. Anyway, I'd love it. Anyway, I'd really like to look similar though. Muscular, like her picture above.<br /><br />Night! </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">C.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-38630595629571232532010-05-12T09:26:00.003-05:002010-05-12T17:24:20.537-05:005/11//10<span style="font-family:georgia;">I should've posted yesterday, but I didn't. OOPS!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">1 serving turkey breakfast sausage w/ egg white, wrapped in low carb tortilla.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">nothing. Oops. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Lunch: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Healthy Steamer meal: turkey, gravy, green beans, fruity thing w/oatmeal.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">2 Fresco Tacos off the Taco Bell healthy menu.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Dinner: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Ugh. I had dinner at the Murr house; Stouffer's chicken lasagna, green beans, glass of non-alcoholic wine, water. I was rather good about my portions. I asked Murr to smack me if I tried to over-eat. Lol. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">I ate this WAY too late... I had a bowl of popcorn in bed, watching Friends. Damnit. I need to stop that. It's a bunch of calories (not even good ones) that I'm sleeping on, and then I wonder why my weight has plateaued. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >H20 intake</span><span style="font-family:georgia;">: KUDOS TO ME! I had 82oz!!! Peed all day long...</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Workout: </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Started with 1/4 mile job to warm up, then....<br />Nasty WOD!</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">7 rounds for time:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">10 incline pushups (after 3 rounds, Cpt. C. bumped me to 7 of each set for all activities)</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">10 squat cleans with 20 lb. medicine ball. (moved to 7 after 3 rounds)</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">10 RR's (moved to 7 after 3 rounds)</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Time: 25:15. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I'm so excited - I've never done incline pushups EVER, and I totally did 58. Some sets were broken up, yes, but I did it. So pumped about that. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Xo.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-64135423262114747612010-05-10T21:08:00.003-05:002010-05-12T17:24:51.856-05:00Monday<span style="font-family:georgia;">Well, I need to admit that yesterday was pretty much the worst eating day I've had since I began this whole blog. I just... well, I just basically said f- it. I don't know why. I had Italian food with Steve and, though it wasn't the worst food ever, I basically threw the food guidelines I've been following out the window. To make it worst I didn't eat often enough, I overate when I did eat, and I ate TONS of popcorn late at night, in bed. Pretty much the worst combination ever. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Today, I remembered all the reasons I began this to begin with... And, Cpt. C's post was ringing in my head. I </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;" >have </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">made some serious improvements that I shouldn't forget about. So, this morning, I jumped on the Zone website, calculated my stats... and had a moment of shocked sadness. But, thankfully, I feel more powered to attack my goals, instead of getting down about my stats. Here's what I found out: according to the Zone, I have 43% body fat... a stark difference than what the Army says. I think what I'd feel most comfortable with is seeing what percentage I'm at with a caliper (sp?) test... Anyway, still. Freaked me out to see that number. Here, take a look at the stats:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Body fat: 43%</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Body fat: 77 lbs</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Lean body mass: 103 lbs</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Daily protein requirements: 77 g</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Or # of protein blocks: 11</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"># blocks of carbohydrates: 11</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"># blocks of fat: 11</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Ok, so I'm still learning about what a block is... I don't yet completely understand how my food intake is supposed to be broken up. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">Recorded weight: </span></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">180.0<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Protein shake. Whey protein. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">nothing. Oops. Re: I lit the bag of popcorn on fire... so, I had no snack...</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Lunch: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Healthy Start Steamer meal. It was good. Right after the WOD.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">1/2 cup leftover lentil/chicken/spicy concoction still in the fridge that needed to be eaten; a low carb tortilla with ham, onion, spinach, green pepper, little bit of vinegar and lite ranch.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Dinner: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">super lean beef hamburger (size of my palm), flat low carb bun, 2tbs guacamole for the "mayo," sauteed onions and mushrooms; salad w/1tbs lite ranch. Water.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >H20 intake: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">40 oz. Damnit. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Workout: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Cpt. C's WOD creation:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">1/4 mile jog warm-up</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Then, as many rounds in 20 min. of:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">5 RRs</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">10PUs</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">15squats </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">1, then 2, 3, 4,.... KB Swings.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">~I got through 11.25 rounds. :) </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Xo. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-46895983654602211332010-05-08T17:48:00.002-05:002010-05-08T18:11:30.204-05:00Saturday...ouch day...<span style="font-family: georgia;">Ok, so I had a friend over last night and yesterday for whatever reason, even though I still made relatively healthy choices, I sort of just ignored the portion thing and the fact that eating popcorn at 11pm while watching a movie isn't a good idea. I have to be honest... I'm a little discouraged. It started this morning... I stepped on the scale (yes, I know it isn't Monday yet... but actually, I've been stepping on it everyday...) and today my weight had spiked to 182. I don't know how in the hell I gained just over 2 pounds, but WTF. I have been a little down all day. Actually, at first I told myself not to pay any attention to it, and I went about my day like normal. I made Jenna and me a healthy breakfast (I'll 1/2 it to document what I personally ate)...</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">1 serving of turkey breakfast sausage, browned, with onion and tomato and about 3-4 egg whites (I say "about" because my egg whites come from that egg-white carton). Coffee. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">But... well, then we walked around S. Congress, looked at some of the shops, etc. Today, I'm struggling to even walk normal which actually began to irritate me a little. It began to feel embarrassing and hindering. I wanted to actually </span><span style="font-style: italic; font-family: georgia;">walk, </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">but I couldn't very well, and any incline or decline sent my thighs screaming. We finally called it quits and began looking for somewhere to eat. We were going to go to Annie's downtown and get salad and soup, but after 20 min of trying to find somewhere to park, we gave up. We headed to the triangle and ended up at Mandola's. See, a couple weeks ago, I turned Steve down for a night at Mandola's, because I didn't think I would find anything healthy. Well, I figured, Jenna wanted to try it and maybe this could be a practice-round for me to find SOMETHING healthy on an Italian menu. After combating every natural instinct I had to order the most disgustingly tasty thing on the menu, I decided on simple spaghetti w/grilled chicken. I even asked them not to add the "touch" of cream to it (but they couldn't honor that...). I was pretty proud of myself for the ultimately smartest choice. Anyway, our food comes and it's not, what I thought, spaghetti was. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Lunch: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">In fact, is was spaghetti NOODLES, with grilled chicken (so far, ok), with egg sauce? WTF?, and prosciutto,, and scallions. Wow. It was too tasty to be very healthy; plus it seemed creamy... which I know isn't ever good. So, I decided to eat half and bring it home to Steve. I was a little discouraged that, what I thought was a sound decision, sort of didn't work out. But, I then ate 1.5 rosemary focaccia bread squares with some olive oil. Why? I don't know. I felt sort of like... so discouraged that I didn't care. I'm glad I halved the meal, but the bread and oil? WTF. I'm so upset at myself. And furthermore, I'm too damn sore to even execute any kind of exercise. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Steve and I are supposed to go on a date tonight; it's been a while since we did. So, in a little bit we're going to Perla's on S. Congress for seafood. I will eat healthy. I swear it. I have to. I'm just so down about my efforts. I know I should focus on the physical improvement... but I find myself honing-in on the weight. I was reading in my Oxygen magazine that some trainers suggest "getting rid" of the scale for a while. I don't know. I feel like... how can I know if I'm working toward a healthy weight? Yes, I can do measurements... but ugh! What about the weight? Maybe I can ask Steve to support me by hiding the scale, and every 2 weeks un-hiding it for me? I feel like I just can't risk this "slave-to-the-scale" BS anymore, which only discourages me. Also, this begs the question... why am I not really losing weight? It's been almost a month. I would think that I should be doing better than 2 net lbs. Then again... It's not Monday yet... But, I've never lost this slowly. Ever. When I was doing Weight Watchers late last year, I dropped quicker. Then again, I was not working out at all... Ugh. I'm just pissed off right now. I think I need to read my Zone Diet book, like Cpt. C suggested. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Anyway... signing off. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-13764272573550330862010-05-08T17:24:00.004-05:002010-05-08T18:13:25.634-05:00Damn Cpt. C.<span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >So, yesterday afternoon I was just starting to feel the pain from Thursday's WOD. But, I thought it'd be fun to try out another one, this one containing some cardio (which is what I really need!). "And hence" I got at it:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Workout: </span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >3 rounds for time:</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >1/4 mi run</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >10 sandbag get-ups (after first round, adjusted to 15lb dumbbell)</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >10 burpees</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Time: 18:22 (I think... I know it was 18 something... I believe this was it)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Sounds rather simple, huh? That's what my over-achieving self thought. And then I watched the first round of comrades do it. Seriously, I had pre-PT test anxiety (icky tummy) by the time it was my turn to begin. This was truly one of the most taxing things I've done in a while. Wow.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Friday's food:</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">bagel thin sandwich - 2 slices black forest ham, 1tbs lite mayo, tomato slices.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">260-cal frozen steamer lunch (healthy choice) - pasta, chicken, broccoli, tomato sauce.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Lunch: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">200-cal salisbury steak and asparagus Smart One. Post-workout.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Nothing. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Dinner: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">8oz cream asparagus soup from Whole Foods, tofu wrap w/carrots and spicy hummus, kale salad. I'm angry and let down about how much I ate at this sitting. Skim milk.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">late-night air-popped popcorn w/white cheddar-flavored salt. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >H20 intake: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">couldn't have been more than 36oz. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-77896697129961510102010-05-06T21:45:00.003-05:002010-05-06T22:02:10.083-05:00Thursday... Almost the end of the week!<span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >1/2 tortilla with leftover grilled veggies and chicken, dollop of guac. I know, not very breakfast-y, but it was leftover, healthy, and sounded good.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >nothing. UGH.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Lunch: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Subway again. Foot long again. I hate that I did that. I was SO hungry though. It's because I'm not eating snacks, I'm sure of it. Honey oat, black forest ham, pepperjack cheese, banana peppers, cucumbers, black olives, tomato, lettuce, lite mayo, salt, vinegar; baked lays; unsweetened iced tea.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >nothing. UGH!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Dinner: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Whole Foods with Michelle!! I got kale salad, a litte quinoa, a flatbread sandwich - pesto, goat cheese, roasted tomatoes - 6oz cream of asparagus (healthy kind....so good!); skim milk. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">H20 intake: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">48oz.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >WOD:<br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">5 rounds for time: </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">10 box jumps</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">10 wall balls</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">10 KB swings</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">10 Ring Rows (actual CF WOD calls for 10 pull-ups, but this was modified)</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">My time: 16:15</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">I only got through 10 box jumps before I had to modify the next rounds to step-ups. This box was kinda high (for me) and I couldn't master controlling the jump without sinking into a squat where my knees went over my toes. I'll get there, but I don't want to hurt myself. But WOW, this was rough!! I liked it though! What I really like about this CF stuff is that I feel so good after. It sucked, but only for a short time. And the sense of accomplishment is really awesome. </span><br /><br />Xo.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-81476625599853804862010-05-04T21:10:00.002-05:002010-05-04T21:32:30.104-05:00Test #2<span style="font-family: georgia;">So, it's been three weeks since I took my last diagnostic PT test. Though I'm not yet passing, I'm super excited about the improvements. Actually, I could barely contain myself, and the first person I wanted to tell was my commander - so I rushed back to the office to tell him. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">PUs: 27 (10-PU improvement!)</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">SUs: 47 (only 5 SU improvement)</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">2mi run: 23:32 (1:32 improvement)</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Body fat: 33% (1% improvement!)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">All in all, I increased my PT score by 36 points, which is really cool in only 3 weeks. I was seriously shocked by my PUs! I mean, I just blazed by my last number and didn't start hitting muscle failure until 8-9 past my old number. Pretty pumped. Amanda said she's going to bring her body fat caliper test so us girls can find out where we're at; that'll be much more accurate. I like that idea better than waltzing in to 24 Hour Fitness and asking some beefy stranger to do it. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Trail mix bar and 1/2 5-hour energy shot. I kept it really light because it was PT test day, and because my tummy was all nerves and icky feeling.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">a low-cal protein bar I found in SGT Johnson's desk. :)</span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;"><br />Lunch: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Subway: 12in 9-grain honey wheat, black forest ham w/pepperjack cheese, spinach, onions, tomatoes, banana peppers, cucumbers, vinegar, salt, lite mayo. UGH! I totally talked myself into a justification for why I deserve the foot long. I just don't know how to catch myself when I'm doing that. It feels like... ingrained into me. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">nothing. BAD.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Dinner: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">3/4C white rice w/chicken concoction: cubed chicken, lentils, tomatoes, leftover grilled broccoli, seasoning, olive oil, 3.5tbs lite mayo (to thicken it; I didn't have yogurt), baked Brussels sprouts (side dish), skim milk. This was pretty tasty, though it was spicy - poor Steve. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">H20 intake: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Not so good. Like, less than 12oz. OMG, going to the kitchen right now to get more! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Xo.</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">C.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-14076447562374920602010-05-02T23:21:00.003-05:002010-05-02T23:36:42.122-05:00Home again<span style="font-family:georgia;">So, I'm going to try to keep this short, because I'm sleepy. I did a leg workout yesterday:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Workout:<br /></span>3 rounds:</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">20 yoga ball crunches</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">15 leg extensions w/ 50lbs</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;" >then...<br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">45 (sets of 15) hamstring leg curls, seated w/20 pounds </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;" ><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">45 (sets of 15) dumbbell squats w/ 30lb dumbbell</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">45 (sets of 15) smith machine squats w/ 2 - 10lb weights added (I was getting wobbly leg by this time)</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">45 (sets of 15) dumbbell hamstring dealifts (w/2 - 20lbs weights)</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">45 (sets of 15) calf lifts, no added weight (just body weight) off edge of machine (just toes on maching, drop heels, lift, repeat)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Today's eating was not so good on one of my meals. I actually verbally justified it, and I have to admit, I feel guilty and icky. The worst part is, I literally was not able to workout between the early conference, then getting to the airport, then flying and getting home late. AND, I have another PT test on Tuesday, so I really shouldn't tomorrow. I may just go for a loooong walk tomorrow. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Special K, some breakfast potatoes (not much), and a tiny bit of scrambled egg; skim milk, OJ, coffee. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span>Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">nothing. Coffee.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Lunch: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">"Z-Tejas" restaurant: chips and salsa, crab cheese dip, chorizo-stuffed pork tenderloin, zucchini, small piece of cornbread. I told you.. awful. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Nothing.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Dinner: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Nothing.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >After getting off the plane: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">about 1.5 cups of healthy (Michelle-made) turkey stroganoff. Didn't need the pasta though... UGH!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">So, today was not good. I honestly feel icky. My tummy doesn't like me, I feel like I undid everything (which I know I didn't... the small anorexic tendencies are flaring inside me), and I feel guilty. I don't mind the little guilty feeling, but I hate some of the thoughts I have about how to "make it right." I'm just going to push past them; tomorrow's a new day.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Xo. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-34827005395515609402010-05-01T01:20:00.002-05:002010-05-01T01:30:28.802-05:00Being out of town does NOT mean forget my plan....<span style="font-family: georgia;">I have again skipped posting everyday. UGH! Anyway, I'm in Salt Lake City for an Army Family Programs Conference, and I've been keeping on track with the diet. Though, I haven't yet worked out. It's far too late today; 12:15am. So, I'll be doing a workout tomorrow. I want to hit the treadmill. Cardio is my focus, though muscle building is something I'd like to start working harder. I'm very sore from my crazy WOD the other day, but it hasn't turned into the unbearable kind; almost, but not quite. Which shows progress, I believe. My body is accepting the shock! By the way, Salt Lake City is the creepiest place I've ever been to - even Murr and Davila (my comrades) agree. Creepy. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">breakfast taco - 2oz brisket, scrambled egg, flour tortilla, salsa verde; banana, diet coke (I was in an airport, and they didn't have coffee at 4am).</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Nothing. Bad. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Lunch: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">"Brazilian fast food" - small pieces of fire grilled chicken, beef tenderloin, and duck, white rice, black beans, cabbage salad (cabbage, red peppers, tomatoes, vinaigrette), small bread roll, diet Brazilian soda. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">slept through snack time. Bad?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Dinner: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">grilled spearhead (salmon), boiled potato, spinach salad w/cucmbers and Caesar dressing, a few bites of clam chowder (not so healthy...), water, and a little Irish Coffee.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">H20 intake: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">40oz. I've been pretty good, for me...</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Workout: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">we did a lot of walking today. At least 3 miles. But, it wasn't strenuous, so I feel icky. I want to do a hard workout, and I'll feel better. Tomorrow. No excuses. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Xo. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-67527378998291437212010-04-28T22:40:00.004-05:002010-04-28T23:07:18.545-05:00Dear Blog.<span style="font-family:georgia;">So, I've been away for a few days. This doesn't mean I have been being "bad," because I have been doing well; I've just been busy busy! Steve was gone for a couple days so I hung out with Michelle yesterday, and Dugan today; needless to say, I haven't been home so much! It's nice, though, that both women are very interested in Clean eating and working out, so I wasn't even tempted to stray from my path. Thank you, ladies. So that I don't sit and type FOREVER, and because I can't really remember everything I ate for the past three days - I'll recap my workouts and just today's food.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">(I didn't work out Monday... no real reason. I was just sore as hell from Friday's WOD - as in, I couldn't straighten my arms at all!)<br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Yesterday's workout: </span>ran on the treadmill for 2 miles. I walked less of it this time than before. So, I'm glad about that.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Today's workout:</span> WOD - Combat Fit (for time):<br />100m walking lunges w/15lbs weights in my backpack<br />20 RR's w/15lbs weights (yes, CPT C, I decided to do the full 20!)<br />60 PU's - I made it through 10 regular PU's, then had to drop to knee PU's. Holy crap, I was smoked on my arms!<br />40 KB Swings w/15lbs weight<br />50 SU's unassisted<br />60 Burpees<br />100m walking lunges w/ same weight<br />20 RR's w/ same weight<br />Time: 45:45<br /><br />Um, wow. That's all I can say. This was difficult. Very. I did this workout with Michelle this morning, and I can honestly say, I'm sure we both could've gone faster. We did, however, have to take turns to do the ring rows, so my next attempt at this should be a more accurate time. I cruised through it until the burpees. UGH! That took almost half my time. Rough. <span style="font-style: italic;">Thank you, so much, Michelle for daring to do this with me! You're such a good motivator! Jillian Michaels workout next!! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Breakfast: </span>1/2c cottage cheese<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Snack: </span>whey protein shake<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lunch: </span>Subway sandwich: ft. long (ugh, I need to not eat so much at one sitting), chicken breast, cucumber, spinach, red onion, mustard, vinegar, salt, lite mayo, bell peppers, banana peppers.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Snack: </span>baked Lays; one serving<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dinner: </span>Clean Eating Spanish Eggs straight from the cookbook. Thank you, Dugan! It was delicious. Also, a Clean Eating bran muffin for dessert. Yum.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">H20 intake: </span>46oz. Better. Thank you for reminding me, Dugan. That helped. Note: I still need to look up that h2o ratio thing Lindsey mentioned to me.<br /><br />Ciao!<br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-66152814809071219422010-04-25T11:06:00.002-05:002010-04-25T11:32:07.223-05:00My weekend...<span style="font-family: georgia;">So, I didn't post yesterday. Oops. I had a rather busy day, and by the end of the evening, I wanted to spend quality time with Steve that didn't involve me staring at my computer. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Saturday:<br />Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Nothing. Terrible, terrible, terrible. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">[Early] lunch: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">1 serving of tortilla chips with salsa; salmon, cilantro rice, steamed broccoli, water & lemon.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">Nothing. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I'm not fueling my body all day long. I think Michelle was onto something when she mentioned bringing a little lunch box/cooler with me EVERYWHERE. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Dinner: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">grilled haddock, collard greens, red beans, corn bread, and water. OMG, this was tasty. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">H20 intake: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">40oz. Improvement. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Today:<br />Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">bagel "thin" breakfast sandwich. I found these things called "bagel thins" at Walmart grocery - they're half the thickness of bagels, and half the carbs. Cool! only 110 cal. Anyway, on the sandwich was ham, egg white, tomato, and 1/2tbs of lite mayo; skim milk. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">So, today Steve and I are beginning the process of preparing to move once again. On our agenda: sifting through every book on our bursting bookshelves, and boxing up the ones we don't want/need. We'll give them to Half Price Books (I'm a huge supporter/customer). Also, I'm taking another step in "cleansing myself of this phobic body image I have." We're going through my closet and getting rid of clothing that doesn't fit me, I feel uncomfortable in, is worn, I no longer like, or I feel "fat" in. We'll be donating all of it. Trust me - I could clothe a large village. To explain, this is very difficult for me. We've tried doing this before, and I got extremely emotional about accepting what I've done to my body by getting rid of clothing I could once where. Bless Steve's heart, he backed off and just supported me by allowing me to hang on to them. This week, though, he said "it's time." He somehow--I don't know how--made me feel like it's ok to look "it" in the face and "clean house." The up-side is that we're going to donate the clothing. I love him for focusing my attention on that. He played into the social worker in me. Also - we're about to have SO much closet space. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">PS... I couldn't help it! I weighed myself today. I'm 181.2!!! </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">I've lost 2.8lbs. </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">I must say, I'm somewhat disappointed by the slow weight loss. I don't think I've ever lost this slowly when I'm really trying. Am I getting old? Maybe I'm not doing everything right. I think some of the things I need to focus on are: planning meals, having healthy snacks, controlling my portion sizes, and drinking more water. We'll see how that works. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Ciao!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-1656100619717830992010-04-23T10:48:00.004-05:002010-04-24T09:06:55.714-05:00Tackled the Murph WOD!<span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Ok, can I just say I DID IT!! I've been procrastinating on this WOD, because let's be honest, it scared the living crap out of me. But, after 2 days of nursing my ever-tender shins, I had to do something fierce. And, I feel awesome. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Workout: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >The [modified] Murph WOD (thank you, LT Murphy for your sacrifice. I will think of you each time I do this WOD, with the ultimate goal of carrying additional weight like you carried during this intense workout. See the italics and video link below for some back-story on this amazing hero.)</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > 1 mile run</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > 50 Ring-Rows (in place of pull ups. I problem-solved at my gym, and created a ring-row from one of the machines!)</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > 100 Push-ups</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > 150 Squats</span><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" > Time: 54:31</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >This was crazy. Just crazy. It was awesome though. The first mile, I ran the whole time, not letting up. Honestly, I could've gone faster, but I found myself at odds with deciding how to pace my time/strength. Also, not one of these sets did I do seamlessly (unbroken). I found myself needing to pause to rest for a few seconds here and there. But, for the most part, I did: 10 RR's, pause, 10 more, pause, etc. Then 10 knee PU's (yes knees. After those RR's and run, I practically fell on my face on my first regular PU), pause, 10 more, 1 min. break, 10 PU's, pause, 1 min. break, etc. Then 30 squats, pause, 30 more, pause, etc. UGH! My last mile was a 14 min mile. WOW. I was hurting. I probably ran about half of it, power-walking in between. But, my proud moment was the last 1/4 mile - I hauled ass. I simply refused to have slower than 14 min, so I ran as hard as I could, upping the speed on the treadmill every 20 seconds or so. YIKES!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;font-family:georgia;" >1/2c 2% cottage cheese. OMG, yum. I'll never eat 1% again. Also, egg whites, and a corn tortilla with a little balsamic vinegar. I know, weird. But it's what I was craving. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">nothing. BAD.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Lunch: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">crackers and cheese (cheddar); salad w/tiny bit of regular ranch and lite vinaigrette, walnuts, dried cherries; and minestrone soup (homemade by Donna!). This was iffy. The crackers and cheese I should've done without, but I was thinking that my tummy was grumbling and I hadn't had a snack... so isn't it better to eat a little something (anything) than nothing at all? Ugh. I don't know the answer to that. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Snack: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">nothing. BAD. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">Dinner: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">braised short ribs, zupa toscana, some green beans, a couple bites of portabella mushroom rissotto. Olive Garden. Date night with Steve. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;">H2o intake: </span><span style="font-family: georgia;">TERRIBLE! Like, 30oz. But, I did have 3 glasses of raspberry tea at Donna's. So, if I include that, it was like 54oz. Either way this is not good. I know I need more; it helps with not overeating, being healthy, working out better... UGH.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Lindsey mentioned something to me today. She said that she read once that a person's h20 intake sort of depends on how much they weigh. I want to google this and find out. That's my mission. Also my mission: workout at least one day this weekend, since I feel like I didn't do enough this week. Cardio and abs. I can do it. Also my mission (getting redundant...): plan out meals for this week, so I know exactly was to take out, plan for, etc. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">Xo!</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><blockquote style="font-family: lucida grande; font-style: italic;"><p>The Memorial Day “Murph” Challenge is a fitness competition to benefit the Special Operations Warrior Foundation (www.specialops.org). SOWF provides college scholarship grants, not loans, to surviving children of Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps special operations personnel killed in combat or training missions. The SOWF also provides immediate financial assistance to special operations personnel severely wounded in the global war on terror. The SOWF fills an important void as the people who are benefiting from it are George Orwell’s rough men – The ones who are out there at the really sharp end. It is their kids that use this fund and we can think of no one more deserving.</p> <p>If you are not aware the Special Operations community is made up of: Rangers, Green Berets, Navy Seals, Air Force Pararescue Jumpers, USMC Force Recon, etc. These guys have been on the front lines of the war on terror from day one. No matter how you feel about the war these are some of the most dedicated people in the world. You don’t hear much about what they do, and they prefer it that way. These are the true “silient professionals”. It is not only time that we say “Thanks” – we must also give them our support.</p> <p>Lt. Michael Murphy</p> <p>In memory of Navy Lieutenant Michael Murphy, 29, of Patchogue, N.Y. who was killed in Afghanistan June 28th, 2005.</p> <p>This workout was one of Mike’s favorites and he’d named it ‘Body Armor’. From here on it will be referred to as “Murph” in honor of the focused warrior and great American who wanted nothing more in life than to serve this great country and the beautiful people who make it what it is.<br /></p><p>Video on YouTube: http://vodpod.com/watch/1215221-the-origin-of-murph-crossfit-wod</p></blockquote>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4765943408171976921.post-8435739370873893842010-04-22T20:58:00.003-05:002010-04-22T21:46:00.855-05:00O, Shins... part II<span style="font-family:georgia;">It sounds like an excuse, and it sort of is... but I've been putting off a workout today all day, in the hopes that my shins let up for me. They didn't. And now I've gone and hardly done anything physical all day. Well, 12 flights of stairs lugging groceries and stuff I bought at Ross... but other than that, nothing. I feel sluggish and guilty. It's 9pm and I really should go to the gym now. But I'm so damn tired and my shins are throbbing - I honestly just don't want to. Ugh. So, here's the plan: tomorrow, since I don't think I'm going to work (long story), I am going to do the Murph WOD here at my gym (an hour after taking Aleve). I may just go to 24 hour fitness, where the atmosphere really contributes. Anyway. As back-payment for today, I will also need to do the recumbent bike and abs tomorrow evening. Saturday and Sunday are likely going to be uncomfortable!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Breakfast: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">apple. Not enough.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Nothing. BAD.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Lunch: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">homemade chili - ground lean beef, cannelini beans, blackeye peas, tomatoes, McCormick's seasoning; whole pita with hummus and turkey.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Snack: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Nothing. BAD. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >Dinner: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Pad Thai w/light sauce; edemame. YUM. </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;" >H20 intake: </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">30oz. God. What is wrong with me? I'm getting water right now. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Xo. </span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">C.<br /><br />Later...<br />You know what? I want to add something. I need to learn from this mistake. I cannot wait until nearly 10pm to think about doing my workout. I need to prioritize it. It needs to be part of my <span style="font-style: italic;">day.</span> Like when the sun is out. After dinner is risky - I have often talked myself out of it for one reason or another. Unacceptable. Additionally - I'm sort of half-assing it. I haven't actually planned my meals out, or even oped my Clean Eating recipe book. This needs to change. I need to implement the recipes. I'm going to plan this weekend for the following week. Ok. Goodnight!<br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03889472837773064772noreply@blogger.com0