...my pursuit of a better me...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


It's interesting--almost every time I've posted on here in the past year has been to say "wow, I haven't posted on here in a while."

I feel like I've been going through a Season of Change for the past 15 months. Steve left me more than a year ago, we got back together last winter... he emotionally bailed again on this past Spring... I've just been on a roller coaster and I've been forced to learn how to stand up for what I deserve and desire. It's really been something.

Anyway, I'm at this crossroads again--looking at that woman in the mirror and not seeing her for what I feel like inside. I want to match. I want my insides and outsides to match, if that makes sense. I simply haven't taken care of me physically with as much zeal as I've had for my heart. Somewhere along the way, between bracing for whatever it was coming to me that I was sensing with Steve, him leaving, coming back, leaving, coming back... I just didn't have the energy or the heart to take care of my body. I miss being proud of my legs and tummy... I deserve to be again.

The past couple months, I've been picking myself back up again and steadying myself... I think I'm ready to hit the trails again. I've hired a personal trainer. I'm ready.