Refreshed

Dear me,

I had the most incredible weekend. I don't even know what to say about it, but this whole Pathways thing has revived me. Yesterday and the day before, I went to Pathways' optional, separate-from-the-core-training spiritual weekend, Step Beyond... So I've now graduated from the program, I'm sponsoring and watching Steven discover the man I always wished for him to embrace... and now, after this weekend, I feel like I am finally comfortable with where I'm at spiritually. Comfortable enough to move forward without confinement. I prayed with someone, for the first time that I can remember feeling it with so much of myself, I prayed. This means so much to me, because I've never felt the freedom to do that, the way I did this weekend. My life has just been such a whirlwind these past handful of months, and I feel like everything in it was building and setting me up for the exact moments I've been having since I saved myself through this program.

"I am a lovable, free, clean woman who trusts God with every little bit." ~my contract and covenant.

I... I think I'm ready to rely on God for the struggles I have had with my eating and health. I've accomplished ordering and receiving a new scale. I will weigh myself in the morning, measure myself and record, and begin my 10 days of 7am-8pm only eating. I have yet to do an OA meeting... I committed to a sleepover with Amanda on Wednesday, which is the day I want to attend an OA meeting, so I will either pick a different day, or begin that next week. I want to start building this habit, but I need to acknowledge I can't do this alone. Tomorrow, I intend to journal a prayer to God about needing him for the strength tomorrow. Little bits; I have to start trusting Him with my little bits.

Love.

C.

Sunday night

Hello. Not sure what to write right now. I haven't bought a scale yet. I was trying to find $25 of stuff on Amazon.com so I can get free shipping, but I was at a road block in my mind. But, now I have a few small Christmas ideas for people I love, so I'll go on there again. You know what? I'll stop writing right now, and order it...

And ORDERED!!

So, I've begun posting pictures of fit women inside my cupboards, but they aren't all covered. And, I just ordered my scale. I'm getting there. I ate past 8pm tonight... I'm really letting tapes in my mind overpower my judgment. I even looked at the clock before making food and thought "oh well, I'll do it tomorrow." Maybe I should frame a sign that reads "do it today..." Ok, that's on my list. I need to do that and hang it in my kitchen.

C.

Starting anew

Dear Self,

It's been so long. I know I've said this before, but there was so much going on in my life, emotionally, I just fell apart. I've been healing myself from the inside, finally, and I'm not sure... but I'd like to start again. So, hello, Blog. It's been awhile and I've missed you. More importantly, I've missed my health. I've been working so hard, for months now, on getting to know my heart and I feel more alive than I've ever been. But, one of the things that saddens me to my core is the lack of care I've spent on my health and my body. I am an outward reflection of how I care for myself... and now, for the first time, I feel like my body and my heart don't match. I don't look like I feel lovable or beautiful... I look like I gave in and gave up on me. But I don't want to look like that anymore, because I finally care about Candi. I'm struggling, yes. This is a habit I've built over decades... But I have a willing spirit; I just need to keep my willing spirit in the driver's seat now, not my inner dumbass.

I'm starting by buying a new scale. The one I've had for a few years has finally died. Well, it spits out weights like "152." Hell, if I was 152 again, this post would sound MUCH more joyful. I don't think I want a digital one... seems like their lives are awfully short. I'm looking on Amazon.com right now. Hmmm... Another thing I'd like is a weight rack. I have all these weights, but they're just in a pile on the floor. Hmm... Ok, here's the plan, I will reward myself with a small gift (yoga/running pants or weight rack for my dumbbells) whenI have completed this [entire] short list of tasks:

1. Purchase new scale. Report purchase on this blog.
2. Measure dimensions and record on here.
3. Once I receive the new scale, record "new" starting weight.
4. Attend an OA meeting. Report attendence on here.
5. For each evening I eat only between the hours of 7am-8:30pm, I earn a "bean" in my "health jar." Goal: 10 days/beans; report on this blog. Once reached, begin new goal.
6. Hang pictures of in-shape women on the insides of my cabinets.

I think this is a good starter list. I get a reward once I finish it, so that's good. Really good. Better than sheer willpower alone.

Love.
C.

Full

Here I am! I meant to write sooner than now. I've been eating (almost exclusively) Simply Fit Meals for a few weeks now. I'm noticing differences that are encouraging. First of all, I weigh 172.8. What did I start at? That's 12 lbs since I began this blog. That's about 14.5 lbs since a few weeks before I started this. So that's good; and it's been a good and healthy pace too - which is super important to me. Little things I'm noticing are things like: my pants aren't as snug, my rings slide more easily off my fingers (instead of being stuck in place like they used to be), and a couple people have commented on my changing size.

Today was the first time I felt like I really struggled with my Simply Fit Meals. I just didn't have an appetite this morning; I didn't finish all of my breakfast, but I decided to have my glass of milk too. I ate my whole lunch (love the pita sandwich). Then, when I got home (a bit early today: 430pm), I have some hummus and veggies for a snack. Then I decided I still wanted food, so I ate the chicken kabob and quinoa meal. WTF! Way too much food at one sitting. The good thing is that I didn't eat more than I am supposed to each day... but I did have another glass of skim milk. So I'm probably about 130 calories over. I'll even it out tomorrow...

Well, I'm going to sign off now. I have lots to do before tomorrow.

Xo!
Candi

I'm back...

So... it's been a while since I've been on here. Over a month. I realize I went from 100% to 0% in a matter of days, but I intend to start anew. I don't want to make excuses, but I was going through one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences I have ever been through. Those who know me know what happened. Because I'm working through it, and other buried experiences I've been through, with my friends, through counseling, through Pathways (soon!)... I will not be discussing the reason I signed off for a while. It's too personal.

Anyway, many things in my life have changed (clearly) - but I'm referring to fitness. Along with my period of withdrawal from this blog, I stopped eating, stopped working out, stopped sleeping. I lost 13 pounds; I was down to 172 at some point. I was dizzy, had headaches, cried a lot, smoked cigarettes a lot, and then... to make it all worse: I fell at an Army function down a couple cement stairs, jammed my right big toe so hard it snapped, and tore a couple ligaments pretty bad in my left ankle. I've been healing for almost 3 weeks; still limping, but it's getting there. So - I haven't done Cross Fit; first, out of an emotional response to a painful shift in my life, and second, due to my injury.

Now, some positive things! I recently began a nutrition program with Simply Fit Meals. It's a new business here in Austin, and it's AWESOME. Now, I don't need to plan, cook, count calories, measure portions... Why? They do it for me. They deliver my meals twice a week, proportioned, all organic, cooked, fresh, never frozen. It is truly so tasty, I can't even describe it. I've only been on the plan for a couple days, but I've already noticed changes. I feel... happier. I don't know if it's the food, or the support from my friends and chain of command - but I feel happier. And, my digestion has been better. Won't go into detail... but I physically feel better! I am still struggling with falling/staying asleep, but perhaps this food will help that.

Also, I had a session with Laura, a nutritionist from Simply Fit. She talked about my habits, my goals, my motivations, etc. We figured out how much I should be eating with an immobile lifestyle (right now): 1300-1400 calories per day. Yes, I'm going to start incorporating some exercises, but at least I know what I'm allowed on my most lazy day. And, she said she's going to stick with me through my health journey. This is too awesome, and so encouraging. I finally admitted to myself that I need accountability. Now, between this blog, my Murr's, CPT Conner, and Laura - I'll have just that.

Ok, Blog... we're caught up, for the most part. I'm leaving for Pathways tomorrow, and the plan is take my meals with me in my little lunch box coolers. I'm going with Amanda and Johnson - so I'll have that support system to give me enough confidence to tell other people "yeah, I brought my own organic, healthy food." Eventually, I'll get used to mentioning it.

Oh, I thought of one more thing: I have made the decision to fast from cheese and cheese-flavored foods. Now, I understand the connotation that is often drawn from the word "fast." That's ok. I used to have an aversion to the word, and honestly, I still have a physical reaction to the word. Regardless, I'm fasting from my single FAVORITE food and flavor in the world. Yes, this is religiously motivated. I have done some soul-searching and discovered that a sin I struggle very much with is gluttony. I have suffered physically and emotionally from the consequences. I realize gluttony's only means is not only through eating, but it is largely for me. On June 1st I began this fast, with the ultimate goal of experiencing discipline and learning to recognize and combat a struggle I have in my life.

Whew. Now we're all caught up. Blog, I'll talk with you this weekend, if I'm able to while I'm at Pathways.

Good night!

...

I have been away from this blog for a few days now. I'm going through an incredibly difficult time in my life. I meant to post my successful WOD from Thursday, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. Friday, I was prepared for M day (major cardio; M does not stand for major, though), but I ended up needing to leave the office to take some personal time. I have been struggling too much to go to the gym or really eat anything at all; too nauseated. In the back of my mind, I'm afraid to lose any progress I've made, but I won't be strong enough to do a workout without anything in my system. Anyway, Blog, I'll come back soon.

C.

Wednesday...

So, I took the day off from working out today (so sore); but you know what? I'm not UNBEARABLY sore, which surprises me. Don't get me wrong, I'm stiff, but not wobbly, which I appreciate.

Breakfast: 1/2c cottage cheese. I should've eaten something else too, but I ran out of time.
Snack: carrots.
Lunch: Salad w/cherry tomatoes, feta cheese, lite Caesar yogurt dressing; sandwhich - multi grain bread, deli chicken, tomato slices
Snack: 1/2c cottage cheese. Mmmmmm.... I love it.
Dinner: home-made enchiladas! 3 corn tortillas, cubed steak w/canned chiles, fat free sour cream, salsa verde, chopped tomatoes, chopped onions; skim milk.
Pre-bed snack: Cpt. C suggested I have one serving of Muscle Milk Lite before bed, so I just prepared it, and I'll be drinking it before I lay down.
H20 intake: 42oz. Ugh. Bad bad.

I'm pretty excited for tomorrow; my battle buddy comes back to work after an issue that happened a month ago with his orders. It'll be nice to have him back. Yay Murr! Hope he remembers his PTs, because I'm making him do a WOD with us. Mwuahahahaha!

So yesterday we were all emailing about what kind of bodies, abs, etc. we wish to have one day. For a while now, I've admire Jamie Eason's body (though, I'm a little disappointed to see some of the type of pictures she's done...). When I was deployed, I remember Bifulk telling me "Berge. You could totally look like her if you wanted. Look how athletic, broad shouldered, and short she is? And she's got an amazing body. You could do that." Well, it sticks out in my head. Cpt. C made a good point though, when I sent him a picture of her to show him what I wish for one day. He said she's probably that cut because all she eats is, like, "Coller 1" (for you Tosca Reno followers, you'll know what that is). Which really isn't healthy and she probably doesn't always look so cut; that's her "fitness competition" body. Anyway, I'd love it. Anyway, I'd really like to look similar though. Muscular, like her picture above.

Night!
C.

5/11//10

I should've posted yesterday, but I didn't. OOPS!

Breakfast: 1 serving turkey breakfast sausage w/ egg white, wrapped in low carb tortilla.
Snack: nothing. Oops.
Lunch: Healthy Steamer meal: turkey, gravy, green beans, fruity thing w/oatmeal.
Snack: 2 Fresco Tacos off the Taco Bell healthy menu.
Dinner: Ugh. I had dinner at the Murr house; Stouffer's chicken lasagna, green beans, glass of non-alcoholic wine, water. I was rather good about my portions. I asked Murr to smack me if I tried to over-eat. Lol.
Snack: I ate this WAY too late... I had a bowl of popcorn in bed, watching Friends. Damnit. I need to stop that. It's a bunch of calories (not even good ones) that I'm sleeping on, and then I wonder why my weight has plateaued.
H20 intake: KUDOS TO ME! I had 82oz!!! Peed all day long...
Workout:
Started with 1/4 mile job to warm up, then....
Nasty WOD!
7 rounds for time:
10 incline pushups (after 3 rounds, Cpt. C. bumped me to 7 of each set for all activities)
10 squat cleans with 20 lb. medicine ball. (moved to 7 after 3 rounds)
10 RR's (moved to 7 after 3 rounds)
Time: 25:15.

I'm so excited - I've never done incline pushups EVER, and I totally did 58. Some sets were broken up, yes, but I did it. So pumped about that.

Xo.

Monday

Well, I need to admit that yesterday was pretty much the worst eating day I've had since I began this whole blog. I just... well, I just basically said f- it. I don't know why. I had Italian food with Steve and, though it wasn't the worst food ever, I basically threw the food guidelines I've been following out the window. To make it worst I didn't eat often enough, I overate when I did eat, and I ate TONS of popcorn late at night, in bed. Pretty much the worst combination ever.

Today, I remembered all the reasons I began this to begin with... And, Cpt. C's post was ringing in my head. I have made some serious improvements that I shouldn't forget about. So, this morning, I jumped on the Zone website, calculated my stats... and had a moment of shocked sadness. But, thankfully, I feel more powered to attack my goals, instead of getting down about my stats. Here's what I found out: according to the Zone, I have 43% body fat... a stark difference than what the Army says. I think what I'd feel most comfortable with is seeing what percentage I'm at with a caliper (sp?) test... Anyway, still. Freaked me out to see that number. Here, take a look at the stats:
Body fat: 43%
Body fat: 77 lbs
Lean body mass: 103 lbs
Daily protein requirements: 77 g
Or # of protein blocks: 11
# blocks of carbohydrates: 11
# blocks of fat: 11

Ok, so I'm still learning about what a block is... I don't yet completely understand how my food intake is supposed to be broken up.

Recorded weight: 180.0
Breakfast: Protein shake. Whey protein.
Snack: nothing. Oops. Re: I lit the bag of popcorn on fire... so, I had no snack...
Lunch: Healthy Start Steamer meal. It was good. Right after the WOD.
Snack: 1/2 cup leftover lentil/chicken/spicy concoction still in the fridge that needed to be eaten; a low carb tortilla with ham, onion, spinach, green pepper, little bit of vinegar and lite ranch.
Dinner: super lean beef hamburger (size of my palm), flat low carb bun, 2tbs guacamole for the "mayo," sauteed onions and mushrooms; salad w/1tbs lite ranch. Water.
H20 intake: 40 oz. Damnit.
Workout: Cpt. C's WOD creation:
1/4 mile jog warm-up
Then, as many rounds in 20 min. of:
5 RRs
10PUs
15squats
1, then 2, 3, 4,.... KB Swings.
~I got through 11.25 rounds. :)

Xo.

Saturday...ouch day...

Ok, so I had a friend over last night and yesterday for whatever reason, even though I still made relatively healthy choices, I sort of just ignored the portion thing and the fact that eating popcorn at 11pm while watching a movie isn't a good idea. I have to be honest... I'm a little discouraged. It started this morning... I stepped on the scale (yes, I know it isn't Monday yet... but actually, I've been stepping on it everyday...) and today my weight had spiked to 182. I don't know how in the hell I gained just over 2 pounds, but WTF. I have been a little down all day. Actually, at first I told myself not to pay any attention to it, and I went about my day like normal. I made Jenna and me a healthy breakfast (I'll 1/2 it to document what I personally ate)...
Breakfast: 1 serving of turkey breakfast sausage, browned, with onion and tomato and about 3-4 egg whites (I say "about" because my egg whites come from that egg-white carton). Coffee.

But... well, then we walked around S. Congress, looked at some of the shops, etc. Today, I'm struggling to even walk normal which actually began to irritate me a little. It began to feel embarrassing and hindering. I wanted to actually walk, but I couldn't very well, and any incline or decline sent my thighs screaming. We finally called it quits and began looking for somewhere to eat. We were going to go to Annie's downtown and get salad and soup, but after 20 min of trying to find somewhere to park, we gave up. We headed to the triangle and ended up at Mandola's. See, a couple weeks ago, I turned Steve down for a night at Mandola's, because I didn't think I would find anything healthy. Well, I figured, Jenna wanted to try it and maybe this could be a practice-round for me to find SOMETHING healthy on an Italian menu. After combating every natural instinct I had to order the most disgustingly tasty thing on the menu, I decided on simple spaghetti w/grilled chicken. I even asked them not to add the "touch" of cream to it (but they couldn't honor that...). I was pretty proud of myself for the ultimately smartest choice. Anyway, our food comes and it's not, what I thought, spaghetti was.
Lunch: In fact, is was spaghetti NOODLES, with grilled chicken (so far, ok), with egg sauce? WTF?, and prosciutto,, and scallions. Wow. It was too tasty to be very healthy; plus it seemed creamy... which I know isn't ever good. So, I decided to eat half and bring it home to Steve. I was a little discouraged that, what I thought was a sound decision, sort of didn't work out. But, I then ate 1.5 rosemary focaccia bread squares with some olive oil. Why? I don't know. I felt sort of like... so discouraged that I didn't care. I'm glad I halved the meal, but the bread and oil? WTF. I'm so upset at myself. And furthermore, I'm too damn sore to even execute any kind of exercise.

Steve and I are supposed to go on a date tonight; it's been a while since we did. So, in a little bit we're going to Perla's on S. Congress for seafood. I will eat healthy. I swear it. I have to. I'm just so down about my efforts. I know I should focus on the physical improvement... but I find myself honing-in on the weight. I was reading in my Oxygen magazine that some trainers suggest "getting rid" of the scale for a while. I don't know. I feel like... how can I know if I'm working toward a healthy weight? Yes, I can do measurements... but ugh! What about the weight? Maybe I can ask Steve to support me by hiding the scale, and every 2 weeks un-hiding it for me? I feel like I just can't risk this "slave-to-the-scale" BS anymore, which only discourages me. Also, this begs the question... why am I not really losing weight? It's been almost a month. I would think that I should be doing better than 2 net lbs. Then again... It's not Monday yet... But, I've never lost this slowly. Ever. When I was doing Weight Watchers late last year, I dropped quicker. Then again, I was not working out at all... Ugh. I'm just pissed off right now. I think I need to read my Zone Diet book, like Cpt. C suggested.

Anyway... signing off.

Damn Cpt. C.

So, yesterday afternoon I was just starting to feel the pain from Thursday's WOD. But, I thought it'd be fun to try out another one, this one containing some cardio (which is what I really need!). "And hence" I got at it:

Workout:
3 rounds for time:
1/4 mi run
10 sandbag get-ups (after first round, adjusted to 15lb dumbbell)
10 burpees
Time: 18:22 (I think... I know it was 18 something... I believe this was it)

Sounds rather simple, huh? That's what my over-achieving self thought. And then I watched the first round of comrades do it. Seriously, I had pre-PT test anxiety (icky tummy) by the time it was my turn to begin. This was truly one of the most taxing things I've done in a while. Wow.
Friday's food:
Breakfast: bagel thin sandwich - 2 slices black forest ham, 1tbs lite mayo, tomato slices.
Snack: 260-cal frozen steamer lunch (healthy choice) - pasta, chicken, broccoli, tomato sauce.
Lunch: 200-cal salisbury steak and asparagus Smart One. Post-workout.
Snack: Nothing.
Dinner: 8oz cream asparagus soup from Whole Foods, tofu wrap w/carrots and spicy hummus, kale salad. I'm angry and let down about how much I ate at this sitting. Skim milk.
Snack: late-night air-popped popcorn w/white cheddar-flavored salt.
H20 intake: couldn't have been more than 36oz.

Thursday... Almost the end of the week!

Breakfast: 1/2 tortilla with leftover grilled veggies and chicken, dollop of guac. I know, not very breakfast-y, but it was leftover, healthy, and sounded good.
Snack: nothing. UGH.
Lunch: Subway again. Foot long again. I hate that I did that. I was SO hungry though. It's because I'm not eating snacks, I'm sure of it. Honey oat, black forest ham, pepperjack cheese, banana peppers, cucumbers, black olives, tomato, lettuce, lite mayo, salt, vinegar; baked lays; unsweetened iced tea.
Snack: nothing. UGH!
Dinner: Whole Foods with Michelle!! I got kale salad, a litte quinoa, a flatbread sandwich - pesto, goat cheese, roasted tomatoes - 6oz cream of asparagus (healthy kind....so good!); skim milk.
H20 intake: 48oz.

WOD:
5 rounds for time:
10 box jumps
10 wall balls
10 KB swings
10 Ring Rows (actual CF WOD calls for 10 pull-ups, but this was modified)
My time: 16:15

I only got through 10 box jumps before I had to modify the next rounds to step-ups. This box was kinda high (for me) and I couldn't master controlling the jump without sinking into a squat where my knees went over my toes. I'll get there, but I don't want to hurt myself. But WOW, this was rough!! I liked it though! What I really like about this CF stuff is that I feel so good after. It sucked, but only for a short time. And the sense of accomplishment is really awesome.

Xo.

Test #2

So, it's been three weeks since I took my last diagnostic PT test. Though I'm not yet passing, I'm super excited about the improvements. Actually, I could barely contain myself, and the first person I wanted to tell was my commander - so I rushed back to the office to tell him.

PUs: 27 (10-PU improvement!)
SUs: 47 (only 5 SU improvement)
2mi run: 23:32 (1:32 improvement)
Body fat: 33% (1% improvement!)

All in all, I increased my PT score by 36 points, which is really cool in only 3 weeks. I was seriously shocked by my PUs! I mean, I just blazed by my last number and didn't start hitting muscle failure until 8-9 past my old number. Pretty pumped. Amanda said she's going to bring her body fat caliper test so us girls can find out where we're at; that'll be much more accurate. I like that idea better than waltzing in to 24 Hour Fitness and asking some beefy stranger to do it.

Breakfast: Trail mix bar and 1/2 5-hour energy shot. I kept it really light because it was PT test day, and because my tummy was all nerves and icky feeling.
Snack: a low-cal protein bar I found in SGT Johnson's desk. :)
Lunch: Subway: 12in 9-grain honey wheat, black forest ham w/pepperjack cheese, spinach, onions, tomatoes, banana peppers, cucumbers, vinegar, salt, lite mayo. UGH! I totally talked myself into a justification for why I deserve the foot long. I just don't know how to catch myself when I'm doing that. It feels like... ingrained into me.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Dinner: 3/4C white rice w/chicken concoction: cubed chicken, lentils, tomatoes, leftover grilled broccoli, seasoning, olive oil, 3.5tbs lite mayo (to thicken it; I didn't have yogurt), baked Brussels sprouts (side dish), skim milk. This was pretty tasty, though it was spicy - poor Steve.
H20 intake: Not so good. Like, less than 12oz. OMG, going to the kitchen right now to get more!

Xo.
C.

Home again

So, I'm going to try to keep this short, because I'm sleepy. I did a leg workout yesterday:

Workout:
3 rounds:
20 yoga ball crunches
15 leg extensions w/ 50lbs
then...
45 (sets of 15) hamstring leg curls, seated w/20 pounds
45 (sets of 15) dumbbell squats w/ 30lb dumbbell
45 (sets of 15) smith machine squats w/ 2 - 10lb weights added (I was getting wobbly leg by this time)
45 (sets of 15) dumbbell hamstring dealifts (w/2 - 20lbs weights)
45 (sets of 15) calf lifts, no added weight (just body weight) off edge of machine (just toes on maching, drop heels, lift, repeat)

Today's eating was not so good on one of my meals. I actually verbally justified it, and I have to admit, I feel guilty and icky. The worst part is, I literally was not able to workout between the early conference, then getting to the airport, then flying and getting home late. AND, I have another PT test on Tuesday, so I really shouldn't tomorrow. I may just go for a loooong walk tomorrow.

Breakfast: Special K, some breakfast potatoes (not much), and a tiny bit of scrambled egg; skim milk, OJ, coffee.
Snack: nothing. Coffee.
Lunch: "Z-Tejas" restaurant: chips and salsa, crab cheese dip, chorizo-stuffed pork tenderloin, zucchini, small piece of cornbread. I told you.. awful.
Snack: Nothing.
Dinner: Nothing.
After getting off the plane: about 1.5 cups of healthy (Michelle-made) turkey stroganoff. Didn't need the pasta though... UGH!

So, today was not good. I honestly feel icky. My tummy doesn't like me, I feel like I undid everything (which I know I didn't... the small anorexic tendencies are flaring inside me), and I feel guilty. I don't mind the little guilty feeling, but I hate some of the thoughts I have about how to "make it right." I'm just going to push past them; tomorrow's a new day.

Xo.

Being out of town does NOT mean forget my plan....

I have again skipped posting everyday. UGH! Anyway, I'm in Salt Lake City for an Army Family Programs Conference, and I've been keeping on track with the diet. Though, I haven't yet worked out. It's far too late today; 12:15am. So, I'll be doing a workout tomorrow. I want to hit the treadmill. Cardio is my focus, though muscle building is something I'd like to start working harder. I'm very sore from my crazy WOD the other day, but it hasn't turned into the unbearable kind; almost, but not quite. Which shows progress, I believe. My body is accepting the shock! By the way, Salt Lake City is the creepiest place I've ever been to - even Murr and Davila (my comrades) agree. Creepy.

Breakfast: breakfast taco - 2oz brisket, scrambled egg, flour tortilla, salsa verde; banana, diet coke (I was in an airport, and they didn't have coffee at 4am).
Snack: Nothing. Bad.
Lunch: "Brazilian fast food" - small pieces of fire grilled chicken, beef tenderloin, and duck, white rice, black beans, cabbage salad (cabbage, red peppers, tomatoes, vinaigrette), small bread roll, diet Brazilian soda.
Snack: slept through snack time. Bad?
Dinner: grilled spearhead (salmon), boiled potato, spinach salad w/cucmbers and Caesar dressing, a few bites of clam chowder (not so healthy...), water, and a little Irish Coffee.
H20 intake: 40oz. I've been pretty good, for me...
Workout: we did a lot of walking today. At least 3 miles. But, it wasn't strenuous, so I feel icky. I want to do a hard workout, and I'll feel better. Tomorrow. No excuses.

Xo.

Dear Blog.

So, I've been away for a few days. This doesn't mean I have been being "bad," because I have been doing well; I've just been busy busy! Steve was gone for a couple days so I hung out with Michelle yesterday, and Dugan today; needless to say, I haven't been home so much! It's nice, though, that both women are very interested in Clean eating and working out, so I wasn't even tempted to stray from my path. Thank you, ladies. So that I don't sit and type FOREVER, and because I can't really remember everything I ate for the past three days - I'll recap my workouts and just today's food.

(I didn't work out Monday... no real reason. I was just sore as hell from Friday's WOD - as in, I couldn't straighten my arms at all!)
Yesterday's workout: ran on the treadmill for 2 miles. I walked less of it this time than before. So, I'm glad about that.
Today's workout: WOD - Combat Fit (for time):
100m walking lunges w/15lbs weights in my backpack
20 RR's w/15lbs weights (yes, CPT C, I decided to do the full 20!)
60 PU's - I made it through 10 regular PU's, then had to drop to knee PU's. Holy crap, I was smoked on my arms!
40 KB Swings w/15lbs weight
50 SU's unassisted
60 Burpees
100m walking lunges w/ same weight
20 RR's w/ same weight
Time: 45:45

Um, wow. That's all I can say. This was difficult. Very. I did this workout with Michelle this morning, and I can honestly say, I'm sure we both could've gone faster. We did, however, have to take turns to do the ring rows, so my next attempt at this should be a more accurate time. I cruised through it until the burpees. UGH! That took almost half my time. Rough. Thank you, so much, Michelle for daring to do this with me! You're such a good motivator! Jillian Michaels workout next!!

Breakfast: 1/2c cottage cheese
Snack: whey protein shake
Lunch: Subway sandwich: ft. long (ugh, I need to not eat so much at one sitting), chicken breast, cucumber, spinach, red onion, mustard, vinegar, salt, lite mayo, bell peppers, banana peppers.
Snack: baked Lays; one serving
Dinner: Clean Eating Spanish Eggs straight from the cookbook. Thank you, Dugan! It was delicious. Also, a Clean Eating bran muffin for dessert. Yum.
H20 intake: 46oz. Better. Thank you for reminding me, Dugan. That helped. Note: I still need to look up that h2o ratio thing Lindsey mentioned to me.

Ciao!

My weekend...

So, I didn't post yesterday. Oops. I had a rather busy day, and by the end of the evening, I wanted to spend quality time with Steve that didn't involve me staring at my computer.

Saturday:
Breakfast: Nothing. Terrible, terrible, terrible.
[Early] lunch: 1 serving of tortilla chips with salsa; salmon, cilantro rice, steamed broccoli, water & lemon.
Snack: Nothing. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I'm not fueling my body all day long. I think Michelle was onto something when she mentioned bringing a little lunch box/cooler with me EVERYWHERE.
Dinner: grilled haddock, collard greens, red beans, corn bread, and water. OMG, this was tasty.
H20 intake: 40oz. Improvement.

Today:
Breakfast: bagel "thin" breakfast sandwich. I found these things called "bagel thins" at Walmart grocery - they're half the thickness of bagels, and half the carbs. Cool! only 110 cal. Anyway, on the sandwich was ham, egg white, tomato, and 1/2tbs of lite mayo; skim milk.

So, today Steve and I are beginning the process of preparing to move once again. On our agenda: sifting through every book on our bursting bookshelves, and boxing up the ones we don't want/need. We'll give them to Half Price Books (I'm a huge supporter/customer). Also, I'm taking another step in "cleansing myself of this phobic body image I have." We're going through my closet and getting rid of clothing that doesn't fit me, I feel uncomfortable in, is worn, I no longer like, or I feel "fat" in. We'll be donating all of it. Trust me - I could clothe a large village. To explain, this is very difficult for me. We've tried doing this before, and I got extremely emotional about accepting what I've done to my body by getting rid of clothing I could once where. Bless Steve's heart, he backed off and just supported me by allowing me to hang on to them. This week, though, he said "it's time." He somehow--I don't know how--made me feel like it's ok to look "it" in the face and "clean house." The up-side is that we're going to donate the clothing. I love him for focusing my attention on that. He played into the social worker in me. Also - we're about to have SO much closet space.

PS... I couldn't help it! I weighed myself today. I'm 181.2!!! I've lost 2.8lbs. I must say, I'm somewhat disappointed by the slow weight loss. I don't think I've ever lost this slowly when I'm really trying. Am I getting old? Maybe I'm not doing everything right. I think some of the things I need to focus on are: planning meals, having healthy snacks, controlling my portion sizes, and drinking more water. We'll see how that works.

Ciao!

Tackled the Murph WOD!

Ok, can I just say I DID IT!! I've been procrastinating on this WOD, because let's be honest, it scared the living crap out of me. But, after 2 days of nursing my ever-tender shins, I had to do something fierce. And, I feel awesome.

Workout: The [modified] Murph WOD (thank you, LT Murphy for your sacrifice. I will think of you each time I do this WOD, with the ultimate goal of carrying additional weight like you carried during this intense workout. See the italics and video link below for some back-story on this amazing hero.)
1 mile run
50 Ring-Rows (in place of pull ups. I problem-solved at my gym, and created a ring-row from one of the machines!)
100 Push-ups
150 Squats
Time: 54:31

This was crazy. Just crazy. It was awesome though. The first mile, I ran the whole time, not letting up. Honestly, I could've gone faster, but I found myself at odds with deciding how to pace my time/strength. Also, not one of these sets did I do seamlessly (unbroken). I found myself needing to pause to rest for a few seconds here and there. But, for the most part, I did: 10 RR's, pause, 10 more, pause, etc. Then 10 knee PU's (yes knees. After those RR's and run, I practically fell on my face on my first regular PU), pause, 10 more, 1 min. break, 10 PU's, pause, 1 min. break, etc. Then 30 squats, pause, 30 more, pause, etc. UGH! My last mile was a 14 min mile. WOW. I was hurting. I probably ran about half of it, power-walking in between. But, my proud moment was the last 1/4 mile - I hauled ass. I simply refused to have slower than 14 min, so I ran as hard as I could, upping the speed on the treadmill every 20 seconds or so. YIKES!

Breakfast: 1/2c 2% cottage cheese. OMG, yum. I'll never eat 1% again. Also, egg whites, and a corn tortilla with a little balsamic vinegar. I know, weird. But it's what I was craving.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Lunch: crackers and cheese (cheddar); salad w/tiny bit of regular ranch and lite vinaigrette, walnuts, dried cherries; and minestrone soup (homemade by Donna!). This was iffy. The crackers and cheese I should've done without, but I was thinking that my tummy was grumbling and I hadn't had a snack... so isn't it better to eat a little something (anything) than nothing at all? Ugh. I don't know the answer to that.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Dinner: braised short ribs, zupa toscana, some green beans, a couple bites of portabella mushroom rissotto. Olive Garden. Date night with Steve.
H2o intake: TERRIBLE! Like, 30oz. But, I did have 3 glasses of raspberry tea at Donna's. So, if I include that, it was like 54oz. Either way this is not good. I know I need more; it helps with not overeating, being healthy, working out better... UGH.

Lindsey mentioned something to me today. She said that she read once that a person's h20 intake sort of depends on how much they weigh. I want to google this and find out. That's my mission. Also my mission: workout at least one day this weekend, since I feel like I didn't do enough this week. Cardio and abs. I can do it. Also my mission (getting redundant...): plan out meals for this week, so I know exactly was to take out, plan for, etc.

Xo!

The Memorial Day “Murph” Challenge is a fitness competition to benefit the Special Operations Warrior Foundation (www.specialops.org). SOWF provides college scholarship grants, not loans, to surviving children of Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps special operations personnel killed in combat or training missions. The SOWF also provides immediate financial assistance to special operations personnel severely wounded in the global war on terror. The SOWF fills an important void as the people who are benefiting from it are George Orwell’s rough men – The ones who are out there at the really sharp end. It is their kids that use this fund and we can think of no one more deserving.

If you are not aware the Special Operations community is made up of: Rangers, Green Berets, Navy Seals, Air Force Pararescue Jumpers, USMC Force Recon, etc. These guys have been on the front lines of the war on terror from day one. No matter how you feel about the war these are some of the most dedicated people in the world. You don’t hear much about what they do, and they prefer it that way. These are the true “silient professionals”. It is not only time that we say “Thanks” – we must also give them our support.

Lt. Michael Murphy

In memory of Navy Lieutenant Michael Murphy, 29, of Patchogue, N.Y. who was killed in Afghanistan June 28th, 2005.

This workout was one of Mike’s favorites and he’d named it ‘Body Armor’. From here on it will be referred to as “Murph” in honor of the focused warrior and great American who wanted nothing more in life than to serve this great country and the beautiful people who make it what it is.

Video on YouTube: http://vodpod.com/watch/1215221-the-origin-of-murph-crossfit-wod

O, Shins... part II

It sounds like an excuse, and it sort of is... but I've been putting off a workout today all day, in the hopes that my shins let up for me. They didn't. And now I've gone and hardly done anything physical all day. Well, 12 flights of stairs lugging groceries and stuff I bought at Ross... but other than that, nothing. I feel sluggish and guilty. It's 9pm and I really should go to the gym now. But I'm so damn tired and my shins are throbbing - I honestly just don't want to. Ugh. So, here's the plan: tomorrow, since I don't think I'm going to work (long story), I am going to do the Murph WOD here at my gym (an hour after taking Aleve). I may just go to 24 hour fitness, where the atmosphere really contributes. Anyway. As back-payment for today, I will also need to do the recumbent bike and abs tomorrow evening. Saturday and Sunday are likely going to be uncomfortable!

Breakfast: apple. Not enough.
Snack: Nothing. BAD.
Lunch: homemade chili - ground lean beef, cannelini beans, blackeye peas, tomatoes, McCormick's seasoning; whole pita with hummus and turkey.
Snack: Nothing. BAD.
Dinner: Pad Thai w/light sauce; edemame. YUM.
H20 intake: 30oz. God. What is wrong with me? I'm getting water right now.

Xo.
C.

Later...
You know what? I want to add something. I need to learn from this mistake. I cannot wait until nearly 10pm to think about doing my workout. I need to prioritize it. It needs to be part of my day. Like when the sun is out. After dinner is risky - I have often talked myself out of it for one reason or another. Unacceptable. Additionally - I'm sort of half-assing it. I haven't actually planned my meals out, or even oped my Clean Eating recipe book. This needs to change. I need to implement the recipes. I'm going to plan this weekend for the following week. Ok. Goodnight!

O, Shins

So, my shins are acting up. They should be better tomorrow. I've been through this before; it usually happens when I'm starting to workout again after a long period of time of not. Anyway, my shins scream when I touch them, so I'm just going to take it easy today. I know what my workout is tomorrow: either a jog with Michelle on the lake, or the god-awful WOD that CPT Conner did today, that he said tore him up. Great. :)

Breakfast: apple. Not enough.
Snack: yogurt cup.
Lunch: Subway - 12" honey oat, turkey, spinach, tomato, onion, pepperjack cheese, banana peppers, light mayo, vinegar, salt. I should not have eaten the 12" in one sitting. I should've eaten just the 6" and then the other half later today if I still wanted it. Gr. I even thought that as I ate it. I wish I could get better at controlling that. I wonder what it's going to take.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Dinner: Tilapia, tomato bisque soup, and vermicelli noodles. By the way - how the hell do you prepare these? I've tried it twice now, and they're like worms. Sticky, chewy worms. WTF?
Snack: Popcorn. Mmm...
H20 intake: 36oz so far. Damn me!
Workout: taking the day off due to screaming shins. I plan to still do some crunches and other ab stuff. Any ideas on some good ab stuff?

On a side note, I got all anxious and stepped on the scale. I know I shouldn't do this while I have my dot, and also not until Monday, but I did anyway. Now I wish I hadn't. It said 185. Granted, this is the middle of the day, I have my dot, and I was wearing clothing... but still. It got me disheartened. I hate that. I vow not to step on the scale again until Monday, when I have an appointment with myself to do so, properly: right away in the morning, not dressed, no dot.

Xo.

I biffed it...

Today, I worked out quite a bit, and it makes me feel really accomplished. Yay!

Breakfast: popcorn (seed-popped, no butter, a little nacho-cheese salt). Not the most nutritious, I know...
Snack: 1/2 a pita pocket with turkey.
Lunch: whole pita pocket with turkey, ham, and garlic-hummus; cucumber, carrots.
Snack: Apple
Dinner: pad thai - very light sauce, scallions, chicken from Pei Wei.
H20 intake: 48oz. Better...still need to be doing more.
Workout: 45-min power-walk around Camp Mabry, finished the last 5min. at a run. Later, I did the CF WOD - I completed 5 rounds of: 50m run + 3 ring-rows + 15 pushups in the allotted 12min. Here's the kicker: on my first set of ring rows, I tripped on the bottom bar, got caught on the ring, and pretty much kissed the ground. I totally hurt me knee a little. It's fine now, but wow. Tyler ("Little E.") and I had a huge laugh about it during the workout. Hurray for me.

first week down...

So another week begins. For some reason, I feel like I'm losing some steam. Probably because today is the first day of my "dot" and all my energy is tapped. I hurt; the "knife" is twisting in my tummy and I've been nauseous all day...

Breakfast: Nothing. BAD.
Snack: leftover venison and bean soup.
Lunch: more leftover venison bean soup. What can I say - it needed to be eaten, and I wasn't sick of it yet.
Snack: trail-mix bar.
Dinner: white rice, pan-cooked venison steak (again, it needed to be eaten... I'm all venisoned-out, though), grilled poblanos and onions.
H20 intake: 39oz. Not so good... I'll go get more now. I failed to implement my alarm(s) for water like I suggested. Does anyone have a better idea?
Workout: 10 x 7 Thrusters. The workout was supposed to be 7 x 7 w/the bar for a starting weight... but I was followed home from Walmart late this evening (after dark) by a creepy man from the parking lot, so I was too freaked to work out in my apartment gym. So, I did the workout in my apartment with a 12.5lb. weight. I upped the sets to compensate. Note: I would like to buy a weight-lifting bar.

My stomach is hurting me so bad! Damn Pamprin does not work quickly... I feel like today's workout was good, but I need to really hit a workout hard tomorrow. I'd like to work on abs... Well, good night, Cyberspace... hope to feel better tomorrow.

Sun-day, run-day...

I did it. I kept my word to myself; I said that by taking Friday off meant I was trading-in a weekend day to accomplish my 3-mile run. It sucked though. It was one of those runs where, at no point did I catch my stride or get into it. UGH. To make it worse, at about 2.1 miles in, my pinky finger caught the string attached to the emergency magnet and the treadmill came to a stop. I told myself not to get mad, restarted it, with the new goal of .9 miles to go. Needless to say, I wasn't certain what my time was, because I was paying closer attention to the distance. Approximately 6-7 minutes later, it happened again. This time, I was livid. I jogged for a few minutes more, to make sure I reached the 3 miles, and stomped back to my apartment, cursing the chaffing on my inner thighs. Note to self: step further away from the front of the machine to avoid this effing problem. On a more positive note, I bought some new workout pants to help with the chaffing.

Breakfast: home-made frittata - ground venison, red onion, green pepper, egg white.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Lunch: home-made venison bean soup (the venison needed to be eaten) - cannellini beans, black-eyed peas, lentils, ground venison, McCormick's Italian Chicken Slow Cooker Seasoning packet (I'll use it however I want!), water. This was so tasty.
Mid-afternoon snack: Nothing. BAD.
Dinner: frozen yogurt with coconut, strawberries, kiwi, pineapple, and almonds.
Evening snack: more venison bean soup.
H2o intake: maybe 30 oz. BAD.
Workout: 3mi run.

Here's what I've noticed:
1. I don't drink enough water. This is a huge problem. What I'm going to do to fix this is carry a bottle w/oz. marked on it and set alarms on my phone to drink "x" amount of water.
2. I eat out too much. Whoa. I noticed this after beginning this blog. This needs to slow down a LOT. I need to redirect some of this money into Whey protein, workout clothes, activities w/Steve, etc.
3. My portion size...could be taken down.
4. I'm not sticking to my needed protein. To gain lean muscle, I need to eat lean protein.

It's late, but I'm going to go prepare my lunch and snacks for tomorrow, make Steve's lunch, take my vitamins, and get in bed.

Good night!

Saturday...

Today started as a lazy day; Michelle and I woke up, had coffee, talked for a couple hours, shopped online... then we finally ran some errands after she made lunch and I came home. Hurray for girl time!

Breakfast: nothing. BAD. Well, I had coffee...
Snack: nothing. BAD again.
Lunch: white chili - ground turkey, white chili seasoning, cannoloni beans; water. YUM!
Snack: grilled chicken snack wrap from McD's with no dressing
Dinner: venison burger - flat, whole grain burger "buns," pan-cooked venison burger w/oatmeal mixed in, 1/2tbs light mayo, brown and yellow mustard; salad w/light ranch and peppercorn vinegrette; handfull of baked ruffles.

Run day...

Today's a run day. My favorite (note: sarcasm). But I'm going to do it. I just woke up an hour ago, and I'm not much a morning workout person. So, my plan is to do it this afternoon or evening. I'm shooting for distance, today. So... however long it takes me to do three miles is what I'll be doing today. Even as I write that, I feel an urge to change the three miles to a "2." But, no. Three it is.

I'm off to run some errands and see a friend. I'm hoping for an Ikea evening with Michelle...!

Later...

So I never ran; but I did go to Ikea (yay Michelle!). Here's the deal: If I made the decision to not run Friday - fine. But that means I just took away a weekend day from myself. So, my 3 miles will be happening Saturday or Sunday, my regular days off.

Breakfast: English muffin sandwhich from Subway - muffin, egg white, ham, turkey, onion, tomato, vinegar.
Lunch: salad at Jason's Deli salad bar (w/Dugan!), apples.
Dinner: Spaghetti - ground turkey, Ragu, wheat noodles; glass of white wine (thank you for dinner, Michelle!)
Late night snack over games: baked Tostitos, homemade guacamole, salsa; one Michelob Ultra
H2o intake: like...3 glasses all day. Terrible.

Today wasn't so good... I didn't get enough protein or food in my system regularly, nor did I implement proper portion control during chip time. Ugh. But at least my food choices were good.

Low morale needs... intense workout!

I know I've said this once before, but my morale has been down. I'm very thankful for the long weekend; I really think I need it. Caveat: in the past, a "long weekend" meant a whole lot of doing nothing. But, I am not going the let myself indulge my body's desire to lay around!

Today was not a great eating day; not because I ate a bunch of crap, but because I didn't get the protein, the water, or the amount of food I need and should be striving for.

Breakfast: leftover popcorn and skim milk.
Mid-morning snack: apple
Lunch: Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and salmon sushi from Whole Foods, and a teeny tiny cheese cake that Veronica bought for Rob and me. ***Note, does anyone know how to politely decline a gift? I struggled with it, and ultimately just accepted. For those who know me, I don't really even care for sweets, so it wasn't tempting... it was just a sweet gesture that I didn't want to decline.
Dinner: Macaroni Grill - Pollo Limone Rustica pasta: penne, lemon cream sauce, lemon zest, red peppers, chicken; half a glass of Riesling.

Ok, yes; dinner was not good. But, I had water, no appetizer, and only a bit of their bread. Steve could tell you that typically I'll have lemonade (holy sugar!), split an appetizer, salad, and my pasta = terrible. I am struggling with "that voice" in my head with regard to food, though. Here's a good analogy: you know when the alarm goes off and you haven't had enough sleep? And "that voice" comes up with the most ridiculous rationales for closing your eyes again after turning off the alarm. Then BAM! It's an hour later and you hate yourself for listening to the ridiculous voice. THAT'S how "the voice" works in my head about food. I am going to try to master it. It's... well, it's been my struggle for years now. Other issues with my food intake today: not enough of it, spread out. My body should not have needed to growl or overly-crave/rationale the pasta.

Workout: Ab Crusher WOD
10 KB get ups
2 burpees
8 KB get ups
4 burpess
6 KB get ups
6 burpees
4 KB get ups
8 burpees
2 KB get ups
10 burpees

Time: 11:23! (I totally beat Ronda's time! **She usually beats me on everything)

Then, I did assisted pull-ups on the pull-up machine: 4 PUs, on setting 12. I think I could've done one more... I should've.

On a different note, I have a wonderful man in my life. Today, he asked me if I've seen a package come to the apartment. No, I have not. Of course I ask "of what?!" So, he tells me: he ordered a "Love Languages" calendar. Michelle will appreciate this for sure. Apparently, on each day there is a question/prompt for us to learn something about the other. So loving. It made me cry for the 3rd time tonight - hurray for it being a good reason, finally!

Xo.

Sore glutes...wobbly legs....

So, it's 10:45pm and I just got back from the gym. Little late, but I got there! Here's how my day went:

Breakfast: turkey sausage link and egg white, skim milk
Mid morning snack: 1c popcorn (yellow, natural, no butter; salt and white cheddar flavor sprinkle
Lunch: granola and skim milk, 1/2 pita pocket w/tomato, smoked turkey slices and 1tbs light mayo
Snack: granny smith apple
Dinner: pan-cooked tilapia; 1c white rice seasoned with salt and chives; grilled tomatoes, poblano peppers, green bell peppers, red onion, glass skim milk
After gym snack: popcorn!!
H2o intake: not good... 36 oz so far...

Workout: 30 min on the stationary recumbent bike. I chose the "cardio challenge, level 3" which slowly increases in resistance, climaxes, and then slowly declines in resistance. On the lower resistance, I kept the RPMs in the high 80s-90s. As it increased in resistance, I slowed a bit, but never let it go below 73 RPMs. The last min, I pumped out over 101 RPMs without letting it fall till I was finished. Whew! I gotta say, I couldn't feel my hamstrings, and my glutes were on fire.

All day today I was just in a fowl mood. My morale has been pretty down... but my workout seemed to help. I honestly just feel like a weight was lifted (for now). The change was like night and day. I need to remember that... I left for the gym in silence, trying not to snip at Steve for anything silly, and came back smiling. Feels awesome.

I feel encouraged..

Today is the first day of following my own progress! It started off well; I jogged on the treadmill for 30 min this morning, to make up for not doing it last night. To be totally fair, I'll admit that walked a total of about 5:30 min of this 30 min... BUT, in the last 5 min of the run, I increased my speed by one "point" each min. And, the last 30 seconds I upped it to a sprint. It helped to listen to my 90s mix on my ipod - Nirvana, Oasis, Green Day... The best part was, when I jumped off my treadmill, a neighbor from the apartment complex (40s male, stranger) working out on the elliptical turned to me to say "good push!" Totally made my morning.

For today's scheduled workout, I finally joined CPT Conner and my other co-workers/comrades for some Cross Fit. WHEW!
Here it is:
4x for total time:
400m run
15 squats
My time: 13:56

Here's what I ate:
Breakfast: toasted English muffin sandwich - sliced turkey & ham, tomato, 1/2 slice of pepperjack cheese, tomato, red onion
Mid-morning snack: 1c quinoa salad: quinoa, snow peas, tomato, olive oil, vinegar, sea salt
11:30am snack (lunch had to be late today): "Lite n Fit" yogurt cup
Lunch @ 1:10pm: salmon, Dijon-mustard glazed Brussels sprouts, and lemon-garlic broccoli from Whole Foods
Dinner: pan-cooked salmon (again, I know... it was all I had thawed!), pan-cooked portabella mushrooms, steamed zucchini, and 1/2c curried quinoa salad, skim milk
H20 intake: 48oz. (so far)...uh-oh, that's only about 1.4L. Dangit.

Going to get more water! Good night!

Post #1

This is my first post, first blog ever. It's probably appropriate to list my starting point (hence, the "square one"). This is not easy for me, to say the least, to simply post details of my most significant struggle.

Starting weight: 184lbs

Body fat percentage (according to the Army's body fat test): 34%
**A more accurate body fat test soon to come

Daily goals:
1. 5 servings of protein/day
2. Match protein with complex carbs
3. Drink at least 3 liters of water/day (shoot for a gallon)
4. Post activity and food everyday for accountability

Weekly goals:
1. Control portion sizes at meal time
2. Create a meal plan - use Clean Eating principles/cook book/magazine recipes
3. Workout 4 days this week

Monthly Goal:
1. 8lbs weight loss
2. Take a min. of time off my 2-miles run
3. Increase sit-ups (in 2 min.) by 15 count
4. Do 15 PU in perfect form in 2 min