...my pursuit of a better me...

Friday, July 27, 2012

My time in Ohio is closing...

So, I've been in Ohio this entire month to be with my boyfriend. About two days ago it suddenly and overwhelmingly struck me that I'm leaving next week to go back to my life. I miss my furry boys and I miss my friends and parents... But I cried myself to sleep last night. I started before he was asleep and did my best to sound ok and suck it up until he started breathing deeply. And then I cried until I was asleep. I knew that coming here for a long time was going to mean that leaving would rip a hole through me, but I thought I'd be anxious for autonomy again. I'm not. This guy gets under my clothes, under my skin and into my veins. I absolutely adore him. Is it strange to say I look up to him in many ways? Truth.

I've managed to lose almost 4 pounds this month, maintaining my online Weight Watchers lifestyle... This is something I haven't reflected on or given myself credit for--staying the course, although moving a bit slower than at home with my own kitchen and routine, has actually been possible. I should be proud of this. I am proud of this. And my baby has been so wonderful about my food stuff; so mindful without alienating me; so loving and encouraging.

Writing about leaving is hurting my heart. I think I'll sign off for now.


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