Dear Blog.

So, I've been away for a few days. This doesn't mean I have been being "bad," because I have been doing well; I've just been busy busy! Steve was gone for a couple days so I hung out with Michelle yesterday, and Dugan today; needless to say, I haven't been home so much! It's nice, though, that both women are very interested in Clean eating and working out, so I wasn't even tempted to stray from my path. Thank you, ladies. So that I don't sit and type FOREVER, and because I can't really remember everything I ate for the past three days - I'll recap my workouts and just today's food.

(I didn't work out Monday... no real reason. I was just sore as hell from Friday's WOD - as in, I couldn't straighten my arms at all!)
Yesterday's workout: ran on the treadmill for 2 miles. I walked less of it this time than before. So, I'm glad about that.
Today's workout: WOD - Combat Fit (for time):
100m walking lunges w/15lbs weights in my backpack
20 RR's w/15lbs weights (yes, CPT C, I decided to do the full 20!)
60 PU's - I made it through 10 regular PU's, then had to drop to knee PU's. Holy crap, I was smoked on my arms!
40 KB Swings w/15lbs weight
50 SU's unassisted
60 Burpees
100m walking lunges w/ same weight
20 RR's w/ same weight
Time: 45:45

Um, wow. That's all I can say. This was difficult. Very. I did this workout with Michelle this morning, and I can honestly say, I'm sure we both could've gone faster. We did, however, have to take turns to do the ring rows, so my next attempt at this should be a more accurate time. I cruised through it until the burpees. UGH! That took almost half my time. Rough. Thank you, so much, Michelle for daring to do this with me! You're such a good motivator! Jillian Michaels workout next!!

Breakfast: 1/2c cottage cheese
Snack: whey protein shake
Lunch: Subway sandwich: ft. long (ugh, I need to not eat so much at one sitting), chicken breast, cucumber, spinach, red onion, mustard, vinegar, salt, lite mayo, bell peppers, banana peppers.
Snack: baked Lays; one serving
Dinner: Clean Eating Spanish Eggs straight from the cookbook. Thank you, Dugan! It was delicious. Also, a Clean Eating bran muffin for dessert. Yum.
H20 intake: 46oz. Better. Thank you for reminding me, Dugan. That helped. Note: I still need to look up that h2o ratio thing Lindsey mentioned to me.

Ciao!

My weekend...

So, I didn't post yesterday. Oops. I had a rather busy day, and by the end of the evening, I wanted to spend quality time with Steve that didn't involve me staring at my computer.

Saturday:
Breakfast: Nothing. Terrible, terrible, terrible.
[Early] lunch: 1 serving of tortilla chips with salsa; salmon, cilantro rice, steamed broccoli, water & lemon.
Snack: Nothing. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I'm not fueling my body all day long. I think Michelle was onto something when she mentioned bringing a little lunch box/cooler with me EVERYWHERE.
Dinner: grilled haddock, collard greens, red beans, corn bread, and water. OMG, this was tasty.
H20 intake: 40oz. Improvement.

Today:
Breakfast: bagel "thin" breakfast sandwich. I found these things called "bagel thins" at Walmart grocery - they're half the thickness of bagels, and half the carbs. Cool! only 110 cal. Anyway, on the sandwich was ham, egg white, tomato, and 1/2tbs of lite mayo; skim milk.

So, today Steve and I are beginning the process of preparing to move once again. On our agenda: sifting through every book on our bursting bookshelves, and boxing up the ones we don't want/need. We'll give them to Half Price Books (I'm a huge supporter/customer). Also, I'm taking another step in "cleansing myself of this phobic body image I have." We're going through my closet and getting rid of clothing that doesn't fit me, I feel uncomfortable in, is worn, I no longer like, or I feel "fat" in. We'll be donating all of it. Trust me - I could clothe a large village. To explain, this is very difficult for me. We've tried doing this before, and I got extremely emotional about accepting what I've done to my body by getting rid of clothing I could once where. Bless Steve's heart, he backed off and just supported me by allowing me to hang on to them. This week, though, he said "it's time." He somehow--I don't know how--made me feel like it's ok to look "it" in the face and "clean house." The up-side is that we're going to donate the clothing. I love him for focusing my attention on that. He played into the social worker in me. Also - we're about to have SO much closet space.

PS... I couldn't help it! I weighed myself today. I'm 181.2!!! I've lost 2.8lbs. I must say, I'm somewhat disappointed by the slow weight loss. I don't think I've ever lost this slowly when I'm really trying. Am I getting old? Maybe I'm not doing everything right. I think some of the things I need to focus on are: planning meals, having healthy snacks, controlling my portion sizes, and drinking more water. We'll see how that works.

Ciao!

Tackled the Murph WOD!

Ok, can I just say I DID IT!! I've been procrastinating on this WOD, because let's be honest, it scared the living crap out of me. But, after 2 days of nursing my ever-tender shins, I had to do something fierce. And, I feel awesome.

Workout: The [modified] Murph WOD (thank you, LT Murphy for your sacrifice. I will think of you each time I do this WOD, with the ultimate goal of carrying additional weight like you carried during this intense workout. See the italics and video link below for some back-story on this amazing hero.)
1 mile run
50 Ring-Rows (in place of pull ups. I problem-solved at my gym, and created a ring-row from one of the machines!)
100 Push-ups
150 Squats
Time: 54:31

This was crazy. Just crazy. It was awesome though. The first mile, I ran the whole time, not letting up. Honestly, I could've gone faster, but I found myself at odds with deciding how to pace my time/strength. Also, not one of these sets did I do seamlessly (unbroken). I found myself needing to pause to rest for a few seconds here and there. But, for the most part, I did: 10 RR's, pause, 10 more, pause, etc. Then 10 knee PU's (yes knees. After those RR's and run, I practically fell on my face on my first regular PU), pause, 10 more, 1 min. break, 10 PU's, pause, 1 min. break, etc. Then 30 squats, pause, 30 more, pause, etc. UGH! My last mile was a 14 min mile. WOW. I was hurting. I probably ran about half of it, power-walking in between. But, my proud moment was the last 1/4 mile - I hauled ass. I simply refused to have slower than 14 min, so I ran as hard as I could, upping the speed on the treadmill every 20 seconds or so. YIKES!

Breakfast: 1/2c 2% cottage cheese. OMG, yum. I'll never eat 1% again. Also, egg whites, and a corn tortilla with a little balsamic vinegar. I know, weird. But it's what I was craving.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Lunch: crackers and cheese (cheddar); salad w/tiny bit of regular ranch and lite vinaigrette, walnuts, dried cherries; and minestrone soup (homemade by Donna!). This was iffy. The crackers and cheese I should've done without, but I was thinking that my tummy was grumbling and I hadn't had a snack... so isn't it better to eat a little something (anything) than nothing at all? Ugh. I don't know the answer to that.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Dinner: braised short ribs, zupa toscana, some green beans, a couple bites of portabella mushroom rissotto. Olive Garden. Date night with Steve.
H2o intake: TERRIBLE! Like, 30oz. But, I did have 3 glasses of raspberry tea at Donna's. So, if I include that, it was like 54oz. Either way this is not good. I know I need more; it helps with not overeating, being healthy, working out better... UGH.

Lindsey mentioned something to me today. She said that she read once that a person's h20 intake sort of depends on how much they weigh. I want to google this and find out. That's my mission. Also my mission: workout at least one day this weekend, since I feel like I didn't do enough this week. Cardio and abs. I can do it. Also my mission (getting redundant...): plan out meals for this week, so I know exactly was to take out, plan for, etc.

Xo!

The Memorial Day “Murph” Challenge is a fitness competition to benefit the Special Operations Warrior Foundation (www.specialops.org). SOWF provides college scholarship grants, not loans, to surviving children of Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps special operations personnel killed in combat or training missions. The SOWF also provides immediate financial assistance to special operations personnel severely wounded in the global war on terror. The SOWF fills an important void as the people who are benefiting from it are George Orwell’s rough men – The ones who are out there at the really sharp end. It is their kids that use this fund and we can think of no one more deserving.

If you are not aware the Special Operations community is made up of: Rangers, Green Berets, Navy Seals, Air Force Pararescue Jumpers, USMC Force Recon, etc. These guys have been on the front lines of the war on terror from day one. No matter how you feel about the war these are some of the most dedicated people in the world. You don’t hear much about what they do, and they prefer it that way. These are the true “silient professionals”. It is not only time that we say “Thanks” – we must also give them our support.

Lt. Michael Murphy

In memory of Navy Lieutenant Michael Murphy, 29, of Patchogue, N.Y. who was killed in Afghanistan June 28th, 2005.

This workout was one of Mike’s favorites and he’d named it ‘Body Armor’. From here on it will be referred to as “Murph” in honor of the focused warrior and great American who wanted nothing more in life than to serve this great country and the beautiful people who make it what it is.

Video on YouTube: http://vodpod.com/watch/1215221-the-origin-of-murph-crossfit-wod

O, Shins... part II

It sounds like an excuse, and it sort of is... but I've been putting off a workout today all day, in the hopes that my shins let up for me. They didn't. And now I've gone and hardly done anything physical all day. Well, 12 flights of stairs lugging groceries and stuff I bought at Ross... but other than that, nothing. I feel sluggish and guilty. It's 9pm and I really should go to the gym now. But I'm so damn tired and my shins are throbbing - I honestly just don't want to. Ugh. So, here's the plan: tomorrow, since I don't think I'm going to work (long story), I am going to do the Murph WOD here at my gym (an hour after taking Aleve). I may just go to 24 hour fitness, where the atmosphere really contributes. Anyway. As back-payment for today, I will also need to do the recumbent bike and abs tomorrow evening. Saturday and Sunday are likely going to be uncomfortable!

Breakfast: apple. Not enough.
Snack: Nothing. BAD.
Lunch: homemade chili - ground lean beef, cannelini beans, blackeye peas, tomatoes, McCormick's seasoning; whole pita with hummus and turkey.
Snack: Nothing. BAD.
Dinner: Pad Thai w/light sauce; edemame. YUM.
H20 intake: 30oz. God. What is wrong with me? I'm getting water right now.

Xo.
C.

Later...
You know what? I want to add something. I need to learn from this mistake. I cannot wait until nearly 10pm to think about doing my workout. I need to prioritize it. It needs to be part of my day. Like when the sun is out. After dinner is risky - I have often talked myself out of it for one reason or another. Unacceptable. Additionally - I'm sort of half-assing it. I haven't actually planned my meals out, or even oped my Clean Eating recipe book. This needs to change. I need to implement the recipes. I'm going to plan this weekend for the following week. Ok. Goodnight!

O, Shins

So, my shins are acting up. They should be better tomorrow. I've been through this before; it usually happens when I'm starting to workout again after a long period of time of not. Anyway, my shins scream when I touch them, so I'm just going to take it easy today. I know what my workout is tomorrow: either a jog with Michelle on the lake, or the god-awful WOD that CPT Conner did today, that he said tore him up. Great. :)

Breakfast: apple. Not enough.
Snack: yogurt cup.
Lunch: Subway - 12" honey oat, turkey, spinach, tomato, onion, pepperjack cheese, banana peppers, light mayo, vinegar, salt. I should not have eaten the 12" in one sitting. I should've eaten just the 6" and then the other half later today if I still wanted it. Gr. I even thought that as I ate it. I wish I could get better at controlling that. I wonder what it's going to take.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Dinner: Tilapia, tomato bisque soup, and vermicelli noodles. By the way - how the hell do you prepare these? I've tried it twice now, and they're like worms. Sticky, chewy worms. WTF?
Snack: Popcorn. Mmm...
H20 intake: 36oz so far. Damn me!
Workout: taking the day off due to screaming shins. I plan to still do some crunches and other ab stuff. Any ideas on some good ab stuff?

On a side note, I got all anxious and stepped on the scale. I know I shouldn't do this while I have my dot, and also not until Monday, but I did anyway. Now I wish I hadn't. It said 185. Granted, this is the middle of the day, I have my dot, and I was wearing clothing... but still. It got me disheartened. I hate that. I vow not to step on the scale again until Monday, when I have an appointment with myself to do so, properly: right away in the morning, not dressed, no dot.

Xo.

I biffed it...

Today, I worked out quite a bit, and it makes me feel really accomplished. Yay!

Breakfast: popcorn (seed-popped, no butter, a little nacho-cheese salt). Not the most nutritious, I know...
Snack: 1/2 a pita pocket with turkey.
Lunch: whole pita pocket with turkey, ham, and garlic-hummus; cucumber, carrots.
Snack: Apple
Dinner: pad thai - very light sauce, scallions, chicken from Pei Wei.
H20 intake: 48oz. Better...still need to be doing more.
Workout: 45-min power-walk around Camp Mabry, finished the last 5min. at a run. Later, I did the CF WOD - I completed 5 rounds of: 50m run + 3 ring-rows + 15 pushups in the allotted 12min. Here's the kicker: on my first set of ring rows, I tripped on the bottom bar, got caught on the ring, and pretty much kissed the ground. I totally hurt me knee a little. It's fine now, but wow. Tyler ("Little E.") and I had a huge laugh about it during the workout. Hurray for me.

first week down...

So another week begins. For some reason, I feel like I'm losing some steam. Probably because today is the first day of my "dot" and all my energy is tapped. I hurt; the "knife" is twisting in my tummy and I've been nauseous all day...

Breakfast: Nothing. BAD.
Snack: leftover venison and bean soup.
Lunch: more leftover venison bean soup. What can I say - it needed to be eaten, and I wasn't sick of it yet.
Snack: trail-mix bar.
Dinner: white rice, pan-cooked venison steak (again, it needed to be eaten... I'm all venisoned-out, though), grilled poblanos and onions.
H20 intake: 39oz. Not so good... I'll go get more now. I failed to implement my alarm(s) for water like I suggested. Does anyone have a better idea?
Workout: 10 x 7 Thrusters. The workout was supposed to be 7 x 7 w/the bar for a starting weight... but I was followed home from Walmart late this evening (after dark) by a creepy man from the parking lot, so I was too freaked to work out in my apartment gym. So, I did the workout in my apartment with a 12.5lb. weight. I upped the sets to compensate. Note: I would like to buy a weight-lifting bar.

My stomach is hurting me so bad! Damn Pamprin does not work quickly... I feel like today's workout was good, but I need to really hit a workout hard tomorrow. I'd like to work on abs... Well, good night, Cyberspace... hope to feel better tomorrow.

Sun-day, run-day...

I did it. I kept my word to myself; I said that by taking Friday off meant I was trading-in a weekend day to accomplish my 3-mile run. It sucked though. It was one of those runs where, at no point did I catch my stride or get into it. UGH. To make it worse, at about 2.1 miles in, my pinky finger caught the string attached to the emergency magnet and the treadmill came to a stop. I told myself not to get mad, restarted it, with the new goal of .9 miles to go. Needless to say, I wasn't certain what my time was, because I was paying closer attention to the distance. Approximately 6-7 minutes later, it happened again. This time, I was livid. I jogged for a few minutes more, to make sure I reached the 3 miles, and stomped back to my apartment, cursing the chaffing on my inner thighs. Note to self: step further away from the front of the machine to avoid this effing problem. On a more positive note, I bought some new workout pants to help with the chaffing.

Breakfast: home-made frittata - ground venison, red onion, green pepper, egg white.
Snack: nothing. BAD.
Lunch: home-made venison bean soup (the venison needed to be eaten) - cannellini beans, black-eyed peas, lentils, ground venison, McCormick's Italian Chicken Slow Cooker Seasoning packet (I'll use it however I want!), water. This was so tasty.
Mid-afternoon snack: Nothing. BAD.
Dinner: frozen yogurt with coconut, strawberries, kiwi, pineapple, and almonds.
Evening snack: more venison bean soup.
H2o intake: maybe 30 oz. BAD.
Workout: 3mi run.

Here's what I've noticed:
1. I don't drink enough water. This is a huge problem. What I'm going to do to fix this is carry a bottle w/oz. marked on it and set alarms on my phone to drink "x" amount of water.
2. I eat out too much. Whoa. I noticed this after beginning this blog. This needs to slow down a LOT. I need to redirect some of this money into Whey protein, workout clothes, activities w/Steve, etc.
3. My portion size...could be taken down.
4. I'm not sticking to my needed protein. To gain lean muscle, I need to eat lean protein.

It's late, but I'm going to go prepare my lunch and snacks for tomorrow, make Steve's lunch, take my vitamins, and get in bed.

Good night!

Saturday...

Today started as a lazy day; Michelle and I woke up, had coffee, talked for a couple hours, shopped online... then we finally ran some errands after she made lunch and I came home. Hurray for girl time!

Breakfast: nothing. BAD. Well, I had coffee...
Snack: nothing. BAD again.
Lunch: white chili - ground turkey, white chili seasoning, cannoloni beans; water. YUM!
Snack: grilled chicken snack wrap from McD's with no dressing
Dinner: venison burger - flat, whole grain burger "buns," pan-cooked venison burger w/oatmeal mixed in, 1/2tbs light mayo, brown and yellow mustard; salad w/light ranch and peppercorn vinegrette; handfull of baked ruffles.

Run day...

Today's a run day. My favorite (note: sarcasm). But I'm going to do it. I just woke up an hour ago, and I'm not much a morning workout person. So, my plan is to do it this afternoon or evening. I'm shooting for distance, today. So... however long it takes me to do three miles is what I'll be doing today. Even as I write that, I feel an urge to change the three miles to a "2." But, no. Three it is.

I'm off to run some errands and see a friend. I'm hoping for an Ikea evening with Michelle...!

Later...

So I never ran; but I did go to Ikea (yay Michelle!). Here's the deal: If I made the decision to not run Friday - fine. But that means I just took away a weekend day from myself. So, my 3 miles will be happening Saturday or Sunday, my regular days off.

Breakfast: English muffin sandwhich from Subway - muffin, egg white, ham, turkey, onion, tomato, vinegar.
Lunch: salad at Jason's Deli salad bar (w/Dugan!), apples.
Dinner: Spaghetti - ground turkey, Ragu, wheat noodles; glass of white wine (thank you for dinner, Michelle!)
Late night snack over games: baked Tostitos, homemade guacamole, salsa; one Michelob Ultra
H2o intake: like...3 glasses all day. Terrible.

Today wasn't so good... I didn't get enough protein or food in my system regularly, nor did I implement proper portion control during chip time. Ugh. But at least my food choices were good.

Low morale needs... intense workout!

I know I've said this once before, but my morale has been down. I'm very thankful for the long weekend; I really think I need it. Caveat: in the past, a "long weekend" meant a whole lot of doing nothing. But, I am not going the let myself indulge my body's desire to lay around!

Today was not a great eating day; not because I ate a bunch of crap, but because I didn't get the protein, the water, or the amount of food I need and should be striving for.

Breakfast: leftover popcorn and skim milk.
Mid-morning snack: apple
Lunch: Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and salmon sushi from Whole Foods, and a teeny tiny cheese cake that Veronica bought for Rob and me. ***Note, does anyone know how to politely decline a gift? I struggled with it, and ultimately just accepted. For those who know me, I don't really even care for sweets, so it wasn't tempting... it was just a sweet gesture that I didn't want to decline.
Dinner: Macaroni Grill - Pollo Limone Rustica pasta: penne, lemon cream sauce, lemon zest, red peppers, chicken; half a glass of Riesling.

Ok, yes; dinner was not good. But, I had water, no appetizer, and only a bit of their bread. Steve could tell you that typically I'll have lemonade (holy sugar!), split an appetizer, salad, and my pasta = terrible. I am struggling with "that voice" in my head with regard to food, though. Here's a good analogy: you know when the alarm goes off and you haven't had enough sleep? And "that voice" comes up with the most ridiculous rationales for closing your eyes again after turning off the alarm. Then BAM! It's an hour later and you hate yourself for listening to the ridiculous voice. THAT'S how "the voice" works in my head about food. I am going to try to master it. It's... well, it's been my struggle for years now. Other issues with my food intake today: not enough of it, spread out. My body should not have needed to growl or overly-crave/rationale the pasta.

Workout: Ab Crusher WOD
10 KB get ups
2 burpees
8 KB get ups
4 burpess
6 KB get ups
6 burpees
4 KB get ups
8 burpees
2 KB get ups
10 burpees

Time: 11:23! (I totally beat Ronda's time! **She usually beats me on everything)

Then, I did assisted pull-ups on the pull-up machine: 4 PUs, on setting 12. I think I could've done one more... I should've.

On a different note, I have a wonderful man in my life. Today, he asked me if I've seen a package come to the apartment. No, I have not. Of course I ask "of what?!" So, he tells me: he ordered a "Love Languages" calendar. Michelle will appreciate this for sure. Apparently, on each day there is a question/prompt for us to learn something about the other. So loving. It made me cry for the 3rd time tonight - hurray for it being a good reason, finally!

Xo.

Sore glutes...wobbly legs....

So, it's 10:45pm and I just got back from the gym. Little late, but I got there! Here's how my day went:

Breakfast: turkey sausage link and egg white, skim milk
Mid morning snack: 1c popcorn (yellow, natural, no butter; salt and white cheddar flavor sprinkle
Lunch: granola and skim milk, 1/2 pita pocket w/tomato, smoked turkey slices and 1tbs light mayo
Snack: granny smith apple
Dinner: pan-cooked tilapia; 1c white rice seasoned with salt and chives; grilled tomatoes, poblano peppers, green bell peppers, red onion, glass skim milk
After gym snack: popcorn!!
H2o intake: not good... 36 oz so far...

Workout: 30 min on the stationary recumbent bike. I chose the "cardio challenge, level 3" which slowly increases in resistance, climaxes, and then slowly declines in resistance. On the lower resistance, I kept the RPMs in the high 80s-90s. As it increased in resistance, I slowed a bit, but never let it go below 73 RPMs. The last min, I pumped out over 101 RPMs without letting it fall till I was finished. Whew! I gotta say, I couldn't feel my hamstrings, and my glutes were on fire.

All day today I was just in a fowl mood. My morale has been pretty down... but my workout seemed to help. I honestly just feel like a weight was lifted (for now). The change was like night and day. I need to remember that... I left for the gym in silence, trying not to snip at Steve for anything silly, and came back smiling. Feels awesome.

I feel encouraged..

Today is the first day of following my own progress! It started off well; I jogged on the treadmill for 30 min this morning, to make up for not doing it last night. To be totally fair, I'll admit that walked a total of about 5:30 min of this 30 min... BUT, in the last 5 min of the run, I increased my speed by one "point" each min. And, the last 30 seconds I upped it to a sprint. It helped to listen to my 90s mix on my ipod - Nirvana, Oasis, Green Day... The best part was, when I jumped off my treadmill, a neighbor from the apartment complex (40s male, stranger) working out on the elliptical turned to me to say "good push!" Totally made my morning.

For today's scheduled workout, I finally joined CPT Conner and my other co-workers/comrades for some Cross Fit. WHEW!
Here it is:
4x for total time:
400m run
15 squats
My time: 13:56

Here's what I ate:
Breakfast: toasted English muffin sandwich - sliced turkey & ham, tomato, 1/2 slice of pepperjack cheese, tomato, red onion
Mid-morning snack: 1c quinoa salad: quinoa, snow peas, tomato, olive oil, vinegar, sea salt
11:30am snack (lunch had to be late today): "Lite n Fit" yogurt cup
Lunch @ 1:10pm: salmon, Dijon-mustard glazed Brussels sprouts, and lemon-garlic broccoli from Whole Foods
Dinner: pan-cooked salmon (again, I know... it was all I had thawed!), pan-cooked portabella mushrooms, steamed zucchini, and 1/2c curried quinoa salad, skim milk
H20 intake: 48oz. (so far)...uh-oh, that's only about 1.4L. Dangit.

Going to get more water! Good night!

Post #1

This is my first post, first blog ever. It's probably appropriate to list my starting point (hence, the "square one"). This is not easy for me, to say the least, to simply post details of my most significant struggle.

Starting weight: 184lbs

Body fat percentage (according to the Army's body fat test): 34%
**A more accurate body fat test soon to come

Daily goals:
1. 5 servings of protein/day
2. Match protein with complex carbs
3. Drink at least 3 liters of water/day (shoot for a gallon)
4. Post activity and food everyday for accountability

Weekly goals:
1. Control portion sizes at meal time
2. Create a meal plan - use Clean Eating principles/cook book/magazine recipes
3. Workout 4 days this week

Monthly Goal:
1. 8lbs weight loss
2. Take a min. of time off my 2-miles run
3. Increase sit-ups (in 2 min.) by 15 count
4. Do 15 PU in perfect form in 2 min